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🔥 | Latest

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story:
 build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know,
 Xxx: OK, so, our
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything
 - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login.
 xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
 xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am.
 xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
 XX:
A true programmer

A true programmer

Definitely, Disappointed, and God: qualitees: qualitees: foreversaba: emilytoincreasethered: radiant-mercy: radiant-mercy: 221b1tch: the-magicalpotato: randomdisguise2: ozbert-mcdeadinside: we-generouslybeautifulstudent: sheshiresat: narratorquestionmark: amberisobsessed: there-is-purpose-to-be: 2d-shitposts: captainilikeboysandgirlswow: consensualclowns: silverinkwings: qualitees: Sexuali-tees presents the Pride Flag Collection whatever you identify yourself as show off and be proud of who you are! Get your tee here! 10% off for all of Pride Month! I want one or maybe two is this a bi joke Probably they wanted to run it bi you I would definitely bi one of these Lesbiaonest I cant get bi with a bi joke cause I’m a lesbian These puns are pretty ace. I should have gay-ve one to my friend for their bi-rthday. I need to perform several trans-actions with whatever company makes these. I’m seeing how this pan-s out.  They have a shirt that says “I’m ????” And I know it means questioning but that’s the biggest mood. This is pretty awesome to BI honest This keeps popping up in my dash and it’s different everytime, I don’t know if I can let this go bi any longer THEYRE SIZE INCLUSIVE I CLICKED ON THE LINK EXPECTING IT TO GO UP TO A LARGE AND BE DISAPPOINTED BUT THEYRE SIZE INCLUSIVE JESUS FUCK WAIT HOW SIZE INCLUSIVE? WHAT SIZE DO THEY GO UP TO? IT GOES UP TO 4XT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW T WAS A SIZE BUT WHAT DO I KNOW IM ONLY A 2XL OMG I WENT TO LOOK NOT EXPECTING TO FIND DEMI BUT THEY HAVE A SECTION OF INSTEAD OF FLAGS THEY SAY ”IM (insert sexuality here)” THEY HAVE EVERY ONE!!! EVEN ONE FOR IF YOURE QUESTIONING THATS JUST ”IM???” AND AN ALLY ONE AS WELL HOLY SHIT THERES A KEYSMASH TEE THERES 2 VARIATIONS OF A TSHIRT THAT LITERALLY HAS A KEYSMASH ON IT HOLY CRAP To celebrate Pride month in June we have 20% off across the store until July if you use this link! This includes our most popular collections: subletees, pride flag tees and keysmash tees! Pride should be all year round so we have extended the discount for the rest of the year!
Definitely, Disappointed, and God: qualitees:

qualitees:

foreversaba:

emilytoincreasethered:

radiant-mercy:


radiant-mercy:


221b1tch:


the-magicalpotato:

randomdisguise2:

ozbert-mcdeadinside:

we-generouslybeautifulstudent:

sheshiresat:

narratorquestionmark:

amberisobsessed:


there-is-purpose-to-be:


2d-shitposts:


captainilikeboysandgirlswow:


consensualclowns:

silverinkwings:


qualitees:

Sexuali-tees presents the Pride Flag Collection whatever you identify yourself as show off and be proud of who you are! Get your tee here! 10% off for all of Pride Month!

I want one or maybe two 


is this a bi joke

Probably they wanted to run it bi you


I would definitely bi one of these


Lesbiaonest I cant get bi with a bi joke cause I’m a lesbian


These puns are pretty ace.


I should have gay-ve one to my friend for their bi-rthday.

I need to perform several trans-actions with whatever company makes these.

I’m seeing how this pan-s out. 


They have a shirt that says “I’m ????” And I know it means questioning but that’s the biggest mood.


This is pretty awesome to BI honest


This keeps popping up in my dash and it’s different everytime, I don’t know if I can let this go bi any longer


THEYRE SIZE INCLUSIVE
I CLICKED ON THE LINK EXPECTING IT TO GO UP TO A LARGE AND BE DISAPPOINTED BUT THEYRE
SIZE
INCLUSIVE
JESUS
FUCK


WAIT HOW SIZE INCLUSIVE? WHAT SIZE DO THEY GO UP TO? 


IT GOES UP TO 4XT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW T WAS A SIZE BUT WHAT DO I KNOW IM ONLY A 2XL


OMG I WENT TO LOOK NOT EXPECTING TO FIND DEMI BUT THEY HAVE A SECTION OF INSTEAD OF FLAGS THEY SAY ”IM (insert sexuality here)” THEY HAVE EVERY ONE!!! EVEN ONE FOR IF YOURE QUESTIONING THATS JUST ”IM???” AND AN ALLY ONE AS WELL HOLY SHIT 

THERES A KEYSMASH TEE
THERES 2 VARIATIONS OF A TSHIRT THAT LITERALLY HAS A KEYSMASH ON IT HOLY CRAP

To celebrate Pride month in June we have 20% off across the store until July if you use this link! This includes our most popular collections: subletees, pride flag tees and keysmash tees! 

Pride should be all year round so we have extended the discount for the rest of the year!

qualitees: qualitees: foreversaba: emilytoincreasethered: radiant-mercy: radiant-mercy: 221b1tch: the-magicalpotato: randomdisgui...

Bad, Fucking, and Future: UZIL SRAAK WILL BRANDISH OUR HEADS BEFORE THE QUEEN. OUR MISSION LIES BELOW. THIS IS TREASON. ONLY IF YOu TELL HIM WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? NO. WHATEVER SLUDGE FILLS YOUR SKULL CAN TELL INTERESTING STORIES, BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S NOT CONNECTED TO A FUCKING TRINITY OF MYSTICAL SLEEPING WORMS I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT YOUR PROPHECIES LEAKED OUT FROM THE IMULSION CORROSION IN YOUR BRAIN. FUCK THE TRINITY! I'VE A MORE GLORIOUS DEATH IN MIND YOU'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT BROTHER? CONTINUE TO OFFEND THE .GODS WITH HERESY, AND I DOUBT THEY WILL SLEEP MUCH LONGER I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE ITS MISERABLE DEATH THEY HAVE NO IMAGINATION FOR THE ENEMY THAT MARCHES BELOW THE MINDLESS ABOMINATIONS CAN HAVE THE HOLLOW. THIS IS OUR FUTURE EATE OUR FATE エ'LL STAND WITH YOu. I REFUSE TO BE CLAIMED BY A PITIFUL END MAD BASTARD. NO, SKORGE. WE WILL COME TO A RIGHTEOUS ONE WHERE DO WE BEGIN? A SMALL MATTER OF MARCHING OUR COMPANY TO THE INNER HOLLOW, CUTTING THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND HIS HORDE OF THERON ELITE AND GAINING AN AUDIENCE WITH THE QUEEN HERSELF AN INTERESTING PLOT... AND YET. I HAVE A BETTER PLAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STOOD NEXT TO MY MAGGOTS AND SHOWN THE HOW IT'S DONE. TRINITY'S ROTTED CORPSE RAAM... I SAID NEGOTIATE. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I HAD ATTAINED NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE PROMISING ACOLYTE OF THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE QUARTERS. BREEDING RIGHTS, EVEN. CАНАНАНА! ONLY FUCKING I SEE NOW IS BY PRUDGE TENTACLES YOUR HUBRIS iS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME! th3-d0rk-lord: taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”. Well now I feel bad for having to kill these two. They just wanted to get away from the Lambent, I know that. *sigh* R.I.P General Raam and Skorge.
Bad, Fucking, and Future: UZIL SRAAK WILL
 BRANDISH OUR
 HEADS BEFORE THE
 QUEEN. OUR MISSION
 LIES BELOW. THIS
 IS TREASON.
 ONLY IF
 YOu TELL
 HIM
 WHAT ARE
 WE DOING
 HERE?
 NO. WHATEVER
 SLUDGE FILLS YOUR
 SKULL CAN TELL
 INTERESTING STORIES,
 BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S
 NOT CONNECTED TO A
 FUCKING TRINITY OF
 MYSTICAL SLEEPING
 WORMS
 I'VE ALWAYS
 BELIEVED THAT
 YOUR PROPHECIES
 LEAKED OUT FROM
 THE IMULSION
 CORROSION IN
 YOUR BRAIN.
 FUCK THE
 TRINITY! I'VE A
 MORE GLORIOUS
 DEATH IN MIND
 YOU'VE
 FINALLY SEEN
 THE LIGHT
 BROTHER?
 CONTINUE TO
 OFFEND THE
 .GODS WITH
 HERESY, AND I
 DOUBT THEY WILL
 SLEEP MUCH
 LONGER

 I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED
 VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK
 HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY
 CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE
 ITS MISERABLE DEATH
 THEY HAVE NO
 IMAGINATION FOR
 THE ENEMY THAT
 MARCHES
 BELOW
 THE MINDLESS
 ABOMINATIONS
 CAN HAVE THE
 HOLLOW. THIS IS
 OUR FUTURE
 EATE
 OUR FATE
 エ'LL STAND
 WITH YOu. I
 REFUSE TO BE
 CLAIMED BY A
 PITIFUL END
 MAD
 BASTARD.
 NO, SKORGE.
 WE WILL COME
 TO A RIGHTEOUS
 ONE
 WHERE
 DO WE
 BEGIN?
 A SMALL MATTER
 OF MARCHING OUR
 COMPANY TO THE INNER
 HOLLOW, CUTTING
 THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND
 HIS HORDE OF THERON
 ELITE AND GAINING AN
 AUDIENCE WITH THE
 QUEEN HERSELF
 AN
 INTERESTING
 PLOT... AND
 YET.
 I HAVE A
 BETTER
 PLAN

 MAYBE YOU
 SHOULD'VE
 STOOD NEXT TO
 MY MAGGOTS AND
 SHOWN THE HOW
 IT'S DONE.
 TRINITY'S
 ROTTED CORPSE
 RAAM... I SAID
 NEGOTIATE.

 THERE WAS A TIME
 WHEN I HAD ATTAINED
 NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE
 PROMISING ACOLYTE OF
 THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE
 QUARTERS. BREEDING
 RIGHTS, EVEN.
 CАНАНАНА!
 ONLY FUCKING
 I SEE NOW IS
 BY PRUDGE
 TENTACLES

 YOUR HUBRIS
 iS GOING TO
 BE THE DEATH
 OF ME!
th3-d0rk-lord:

taco-flavored-kisses:

I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”.

Well now I feel bad for having to kill these two. They just wanted to get away from the Lambent, I know that. *sigh* R.I.P General Raam and Skorge.

th3-d0rk-lord: taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus an...