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🔥 | Latest

Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to the bathroom together Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. “If you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to Beyoncé. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull
Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to
 the bathroom together
Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. “If you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to Beyoncé. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull

Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of co...

Anaconda, Ass, and Bailey Jay: 00 19:15 thewitchdoctor The Economist # L-Follow The TheEconomist Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? econ.st/294G6yf combatbooty 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us kid-communism 3) mostly mined with slave labor 4 00 . 19:15 mostly mined with slave labor everkings 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don't even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years 전 wildhaunt 5) They aren't actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated ariaste Pro tip from a former Jared's salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They're lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like... $30-80 probably You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tel the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they'll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot 4 00 . 19:15 unless you get a fancy band with a lot ess than of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial's engagement ring everythingcanadian THANK YOU EX-JARED'S BASED GOD dxisybuchanan engagement rings: HACKED stynalane Get a ring from an antique store. They're usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably phruxx thanks edith Fuente: thewitchdoctor 581,276 notas 4 Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.
Anaconda, Ass, and Bailey Jay: 00
 19:15
 thewitchdoctor
 The Economist
 #
 L-Follow
 The
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
 combatbooty
 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a
 fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist
 rock hierarchy has no control over us
 kid-communism
 3) mostly mined with slave labor
 4

 00
 . 19:15
 mostly mined with slave labor
 everkings
 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer,
 we don't even comprehend people buying us rocks that
 would force us into debt for ten years
 전 wildhaunt
 5) They aren't actually that rare and the price is
 artificially inflated
 ariaste
 Pro tip from a former Jared's salesperson: You want a
 sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the
 untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice
 dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They're lab
 grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a
 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like... $30-80 probably
 You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear,
 perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tel
 the difference except a professional appraiser. Also,
 sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after
 diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that
 they'll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver
 and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you
 less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot
 4

 00
 . 19:15
 unless you get a fancy band with a lot
 ess than
 of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in
 every color of the rainbow, so if you want something
 more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN
 Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial's
 engagement ring
 everythingcanadian
 THANK YOU EX-JARED'S BASED GOD
 dxisybuchanan
 engagement rings: HACKED
 stynalane
 Get a ring from an antique store. They're usually less
 than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one
 else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of
 being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named
 Edith probably
 phruxx
 thanks edith
 Fuente: thewitchdoctor
 581,276 notas
 4
Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.

Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE m the pole with your hands. A tongue very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes will stick when the surface of the pole is 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole. 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İake test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue. . If if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck your tongue should do the trick. pantomiming a glass of water poured over How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/"> Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b> <br/></p></blockquote>
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-...

Bad, Bitch, and Curving: AREERS WITH STEM Code STreers Wlth Game-changing jobs Or tomorrow Combining-traditional cultural values with digital technologies p26 JUMP INTO Don't know what to do? Our has ogoga oui qwiz haTODAY'S all the answers p2o City vs Regional 7 very different paths to a coding career p14 COOLEST TECH JOBS eerswithSTEM.com Artificial intelligencel (Creativityl [Cybersecurity) (Start-ups! (Culturel Google MARU NIHONIHO LISY KANIE GAMERS ELISSA HARRIS A FUN, INTERACTIVE EXHIBITION RECOGNISES THE GROUNDBREAKING WORK BY WOMEN IN THE GAMES INDUSTRY e days of gaming being a boys-only zone are well and truly over. Nearly half of all gamers are women and, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the number of women working in the industry rose from 8.7% in 2011-12 to 15% in 2015-16. But there is still a long way to go, and incidents like Gamergate-where female gamers and developers in the US were harassed and threatened for speaking out against sexism-give the industry a bad reputation. An exhibition at the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) called Code Breakers: Women in Games aims to change that. Ten female programmers, producers, designers and directors from Australia and New Zealand are featured, and visitors can play their games, which range from big studio releases like Little Big Planet and Tricky Towers through to more experimental titles. As programmer Elissa Harris says in the exhibition, "One of the most important things for a child growing up is seeing people who look like them doing the things they want to be doing. More diversity behind the scenes also leads to more diversity in the games themselves. Protagonists in games used to be mainly men-now there is more variety, in culture and race, as well as gender. For example, Maru Nihoniho's Metio Interactive produces games with Mäori characters, and players can choose to play in English or Te Reo Mãori. And the good news is, Australia is ahead of the curve when it comes to being inclusive. Lisy Kane was the first female hire at League of Geeks in 2014 now the team is 35% women. "The video game industry has definitely identified the gender mbalance problem," she says. "They've accepted it and taken it on board and want to improve it." Code Breakers is at ACMI until November 5. Play the games online at acmi.net.au.-Chloe Walker Careers with Cade 29 Code CODE BITCH
Bad, Bitch, and Curving: AREERS WITH STEM
 Code
 STreers Wlth
 Game-changing jobs
 Or tomorrow
 Combining-traditional
 cultural values with
 digital technologies p26
 JUMP INTO
 Don't know what
 to do? Our has
 ogoga oui qwiz haTODAY'S
 all the answers p2o
 City vs Regional
 7 very different paths
 to a coding career p14
 COOLEST
 TECH JOBS
 eerswithSTEM.com
 Artificial intelligencel (Creativityl [Cybersecurity) (Start-ups! (Culturel Google

 MARU NIHONIHO
 LISY KANIE
 GAMERS
 ELISSA HARRIS
 A FUN, INTERACTIVE EXHIBITION
 RECOGNISES THE GROUNDBREAKING WORK
 BY WOMEN IN THE GAMES INDUSTRY
 e days of gaming being a boys-only zone are
 well and truly over. Nearly half of all gamers are
 women and, according to the Australian Bureau of
 Statistics, the number of women working in the
 industry rose from 8.7% in 2011-12 to 15% in
 2015-16. But there is still a long way to go, and
 incidents like Gamergate-where female gamers
 and developers in the US were harassed and
 threatened for speaking out against sexism-give
 the industry a bad reputation.
 An exhibition at the Australian Centre for the
 Moving Image (ACMI) called Code Breakers: Women
 in Games aims to change that. Ten female
 programmers, producers, designers and directors
 from Australia and New Zealand are featured, and
 visitors can play their games, which range from big
 studio releases like Little Big Planet and Tricky
 Towers through to more experimental titles.
 As programmer Elissa Harris says in the
 exhibition, "One of the most important things for
 a child growing up is seeing people who look like
 them doing the things they want to be doing.
 More diversity behind the scenes also leads to more
 diversity in the games themselves. Protagonists in
 games used to be mainly men-now there is more
 variety, in culture and race, as well as gender. For
 example, Maru Nihoniho's Metio Interactive produces
 games with Mäori characters, and players can choose
 to play in English or Te Reo Mãori.
 And the good news is, Australia is ahead of the
 curve when it comes to being inclusive. Lisy Kane
 was the first female hire at League of Geeks in 2014
 now the team is 35% women. "The video game
 industry has definitely identified the gender
 mbalance problem," she says. "They've accepted it
 and taken it on board and want to improve it."
 Code Breakers is at ACMI until November 5. Play
 the games online at acmi.net.au.-Chloe Walker
 Careers with Cade
 29

 Code
CODE BITCH

CODE BITCH

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE m the pole with your hands. A tongue very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes will stick when the surface of the pole is 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole. 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İake test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue. . If if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck your tongue should do the trick. pantomiming a glass of water poured over How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/"> Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b> <br/></p></blockquote>
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-...

Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work