Kind
Kind

Kind

Bath Bombs
Bath Bombs

Bath Bombs

bathroom
bathroom

bathroom

observers
 observers

observers

robotics
 robotics

robotics

vacuums
 vacuums

vacuums

place
 place

place

observant
observant

observant

cleaner
cleaner

cleaner

papito
papito

papito

🔥 | Latest

cleaners: unhealthydoctors: the cleaners … 🥺❤️❤️follow me on twitter @ unhealthydoc im more active ✌🏾 !!
cleaners: unhealthydoctors:

the cleaners … 🥺❤️❤️follow me on twitter @ unhealthydoc im more active ✌🏾 !!

unhealthydoctors: the cleaners … 🥺❤️❤️follow me on twitter @ unhealthydoc im more active ✌🏾 !!

cleaners: nware Keyring: Easy Carrying) Magnet: Convenient Cleaner: Innovative Straw: Origin Silicone BPA FREE FDA Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner Keyring Snap Hook Gefnware Gefinware Sas O Save Oceans lifepro-tips: Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners 🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body. 🍂 FOLDABLE HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 🍂 SOFT ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids. 🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well. 🍂 LARGE SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers. Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks. Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe. 30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.
cleaners: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

lifepro-tips: Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2...

cleaners: nware Keyring: Easy Carrying) Magnet: Convenient Cleaner: Innovative Straw: Origin Silicone BPA FREE FDA Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner Keyring Snap Hook Gefnware Gefinware Sas O Save Oceans lifepro-tips: Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners 🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body. 🍂 FOLDABLE HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 🍂 SOFT ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids. 🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well. 🍂 LARGE SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers. Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks. Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe. 30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.
cleaners: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

lifepro-tips: Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2...

cleaners: uristmcdor It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'enm Why' I dunno. I gotta hug 'emm And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a "mean kitty" and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna 1 see what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these puppies" so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this. Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship Yes, #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised Wait, what? Tm serious Dont do it. Things Happen But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excelent innovators, and are psychologically very reslient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don't even get me started on that one ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets they can get.. creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "killing Stabby by removing the knfe How how did you resolve that si Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative solution, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spings to both and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage ights between them any more So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets ? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners? Yes.. You don't sound very reassuring Well. You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe OK..I am getting a little nervous about this No, no its fine, I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to describe the creature before they get t For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My enire crew was temified of it, it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it's deady claws while saying, and I quote. look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kils things, isnt it Cute? Seriousty? I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel better with these stories everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant 28,157 notes Jan 11h 2017 HFY
cleaners: uristmcdor
 It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes, if
 you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or
 I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing
 someone if it has to, and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing
 And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said
 human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it
 And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything
 else, and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends
 Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out
 there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'enm
 Why'
 I dunno. I gotta hug 'emm
 And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so
 suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends
 Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans
 Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?
 nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost
 their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world
 Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a "mean kitty" and vow to win it
 over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their
 species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have
 never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this
 commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own
 lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna
 1 see what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch
 unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to
 supplies about acquiring one of these puppies" so that their desire to touch furred
 predators can be safely sated
 Ehehehe I love this. Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00%
 cuter and more epic
 Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone
 So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship
 Yes, #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species, but they come highly recommended
 Say, you've worked with a few, what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of
 cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable
 The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised
 Wait, what?
 Tm serious Dont do it. Things Happen
 But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least
 one on board?
 Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excelent innovators, and are psychologically
 very reslient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can
 be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew
 member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary
 But Toks, didn't you just say
 The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them
 unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was
 sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown
 Prince to coo at him
 Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia?
 The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don't even get me started on that one
 ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet
 A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun?
 Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised
 uh,take that under advisement
 Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I
 mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets
 they can get.. creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of
 our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby
 Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to
 revolt about us "killing Stabby by removing the knfe
 How
 how did you resolve that si
 Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative
 solution, I suppose
 And that sated the humans?
 Worse
 Worse?
 They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spings to both
 and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will
 allow the others to stage ights between them any more
 So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets?
 Where do I get safe bonding pets ?
 Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to
 create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge
 If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners?
 Yes..
 You don't sound very reassuring
 Well. You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy
 what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe
 OK..I am getting a little nervous about this
 No, no its fine, I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to
 describe the creature before they get t For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them
 order a pet without checking what it was
 What happened?
 Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My
 enire crew was temified of it, it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the
 human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its
 beans' as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it's deady
 claws while saying, and I quote. look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kils things, isnt it
 Cute?
 Seriousty?
 I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or
 more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature
 You are not making me feel better with these stories
 everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant
 28,157 notes Jan 11h 2017
HFY

HFY

cleaners: CINTIQ RUB Rug my-little-ninja: anosci: sakura-rose12: boobs? I think you mean my screen cleaners. meanwhile, the characters in your ds game: Oh My God
cleaners: CINTIQ
 RUB
 Rug
my-little-ninja:
anosci:

sakura-rose12:

boobs? I think you mean my screen cleaners.

meanwhile, the characters in your ds game:

Oh My God

my-little-ninja: anosci: sakura-rose12: boobs? I think you mean my screen cleaners. meanwhile, the characters in your ds game: Oh My...

cleaners: THE EXCUSE CREATOR CHOOSE A CHOOSE A PERPETRATOR DELAYING FACTOR CHOOSE A + LEAD-IN □ I'm sorry but D Please forgive me... O Beg you a thousand par Godzilla gave me a hickey tried to kill me. ran me over with a diesel 凵your 1110111 Princess Peach." loe □ the offensive line of the 76 Dallas Cowboys... a handicapped gentle- I died in front of nie □ ate my homework. □ I'm never usually like maun... You're never going to believe this... beat me into submission ne □ the inventor of the slan- | hid my Trapper Keeper □ ロ Guess what hap- en 1 sole inv bicycle. slept with my uncle. called ine "too gay to fly □ the direct or of 101 Dal- maions... □ Holy shit! Get this." O Boy do I have a story for the little Asian kid from □ Indiana Jones.. □ a kite," whatever that a man with 6 fingers or his right hand... g □ So I was nunding my own | business and boom!. D stole my identity ! lhe most unbelievable thing just happened... □ I my mo broke into my house. □ Raiden from! Mortal Komba. □ put Ine in a Chinese finger □ I couldn't be more apolo- □ Sorry I'm late □ I couldn't go because □ □ This is a terrible excuse a Mayor McCheese.. 1c caine after me Scrooge MclDuck.. g the ghost of Margaret . D came on me. I tested racial slurs from my Thatcher... I couldn't help it.. 0 the ghost of Hitler.. □ spin-kicked lne in the ! Ghost Dad. co ut □ the entire Rollan tied to sell me vacuum D This is going to sound 2 Eampire... cleaners. crapped in my gas tank made me golf in shoes filled with macaroni and O Holy Moses!... 2 O Kevin Ware's leg bone... a British chap... □ Blimey! Sorry, l'in late vnha. □ a Hasidic Jew." My bad 6 Kevin Spacey. pulled me over in a stolen □ I swear it wasn't my fault ! □ Kevin Costner's stunt cop car and demandeed fellatio. double.. □ I lost track of time | □ □ kept telling me knock made me find Jesus. Kevin McCallister's real life fake tarantuala... □ I feel terrible, but D the editors at Mandato □ Don't blame nie you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:The Perfect Excuse Creator
cleaners: THE EXCUSE CREATOR
 CHOOSE A
 CHOOSE A
 PERPETRATOR DELAYING FACTOR
 CHOOSE A
 +
 LEAD-IN
 □ I'm sorry but
 D Please forgive me...
 O Beg you a thousand par Godzilla
 gave me a hickey
 tried to kill me.
 ran me over with a diesel
 凵your 1110111
 Princess Peach."
 loe
 □ the offensive line of the
 76 Dallas Cowboys...
 a handicapped gentle-
 I
 died in front of nie
 □ ate my homework.
 □
 I'm never usually like
 maun...
 You're never going to
 believe this...
 beat me into submission
 ne
 □ the inventor of the slan-
 |
 hid my Trapper Keeper
 □
 ロ
 Guess what hap-
 en
 1
 sole inv bicycle.
 slept with my uncle.
 called ine "too gay to fly
 □
 the direct or of 101 Dal-
 maions...
 □ Holy shit! Get this."
 O Boy do I have a story for the little Asian kid from
 □
 Indiana Jones..
 □
 a kite," whatever that
 a man with 6 fingers or
 his right hand...
 g
 □ So I was nunding my own |
 business and boom!.
 D stole my identity
 !
 lhe most unbelievable
 thing just happened...
 □ I
 my mo
 broke into my house.
 □ Raiden from! Mortal
 Komba.
 □ put Ine in a Chinese finger
 □ I couldn't be more apolo-
 □ Sorry I'm late
 □ I couldn't go because
 □
 □ This is a terrible excuse
 a Mayor McCheese..
 1c
 caine after me
 Scrooge MclDuck..
 g the ghost of Margaret
 .
 D came on me.
 I
 tested racial slurs from my
 Thatcher...
 I couldn't help it..
 0 the ghost of Hitler..
 □ spin-kicked lne in the
 !
 Ghost Dad.
 co
 ut
 □ the entire Rollan
 tied to sell me vacuum
 D This is going to sound
 2
 Eampire...
 cleaners.
 crapped in my gas tank
 made me golf in shoes
 filled with macaroni and
 O Holy Moses!...
 2
 O Kevin Ware's leg bone...
 a British chap...
 □
 Blimey! Sorry, l'in late
 vnha.
 □ a Hasidic Jew."
 My bad
 6
 Kevin Spacey.
 pulled me over in a stolen
 □ I swear it wasn't my fault
 ! □ Kevin Costner's stunt
 cop car and demandeed
 fellatio.
 double..
 □ I lost track of time
 |
 □
 □ kept telling me knock
 made me find Jesus.
 Kevin McCallister's real
 life fake tarantuala...
 □ I feel terrible, but
 D the editors at Mandato
 □ Don't blame nie
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
srsfunny:The Perfect Excuse Creator

srsfunny:The Perfect Excuse Creator

cleaners: utistmcdorf bekatddals tadicactivepeasant It occurs to me that as much as humans are the scary ones fits sometimes, you look at it another way, humans might seem like the abeurdy friendly or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of king someone if it has to, and thought Im gonna ride on that thing!? And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling 'PUPPYr and intiating playtul interaction wih it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything ese and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger trends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug em Why "I dunno. I gotta hug 'em And it's ike the frst friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why2 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? It seems to be the opposite Commander Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentifed feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a mean kitty and vow to win aver Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside ther species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen belore simply because it appears distressed I hate to say ths commander but we must install a ule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna isee what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown aninals without permission from a supericr oficer And send a message to supplies about acquining one of these puppies so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hel outtia thet rule whenever alone So I hear that youve just recruited a human for your ship Yes, it's the first time that I've worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what ips can you give me? l'd hate to have some kind of cutura misunderstanding i ts avoidable The first rule of working wth humans is never leave mem unsupervised Wait, what? 1m serious Dont do it Things, Happen But wan, I thought that I heard you highly one on board? that every crew should have at least Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators, and are psychologicaly very resient If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ablity to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anying It you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer kuck that the Fanzorans thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him. Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingy good sense of humour But dont even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet. A Dunip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup. Don't leave your hwmans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Seriousy Gef a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they wil make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get creative Dont even gat me started on the time one of them taped a kie to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we Enally caught the wreiched thing haf the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "kiling Stabby by removing the knife How how did you resolve that si? Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative soluton, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? "They thought and held mock batties Then decided Stabby and Knitey were in love and now none af them will alow the others to stage ights between them any more was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spmgs to both So, if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they wll behave better when on other planets? Where do 1 get safe bonding pels? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic 'pet shop as they call t, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any krife welding auto-cleaners? You dont sound very reassuring Wel You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about ther pets is actually what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider safe OK Iam getting a little nervous about this. No, no, it's fine, Im just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to descrièe the creature belore they get it For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking wial it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed felne creature called a Savannah Cat. My entre crew was terrifled of it, it was agie and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of t. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said,forcing the creatures claws out and then they would show people it's deadly claws while saying, and I quote, look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kills things, isn't it cute? Seriousty I have also heard stories from ther crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sieep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel belter with these stanes everythingomdus Source radoaclivepensan 8,157 notes an 2017 Sometimes you just gotta hug stuff
cleaners: utistmcdorf
 bekatddals
 tadicactivepeasant
 It occurs to me that as much as humans are the scary ones fits sometimes,
 you look at it another way, humans might seem like the abeurdy friendly or
 I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of king
 someone if it has to, and thought Im gonna ride on that thing!?
 And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said
 human yeling 'PUPPYr and intiating playtul interaction wih it
 And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything
 ese and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger trends
 Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest alens out
 there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug em
 Why
 "I dunno. I gotta hug 'em
 And it's ike the frst friendly interaction the species has had in forever so
 suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends
 Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans
 Why2 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?
 It seems to be the opposite Commander Just this morning a crewman nearly lost
 their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentifed feline on an unknown world
 Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a mean kitty and vow to win
 aver Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside ther
 species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have
 never seen belore simply because it appears distressed I hate to say ths
 commander but we must install a ule to prevent them from endangering their own
 lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna
 isee what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch
 unknown aninals without permission from a supericr oficer And send a message to
 supplies about acquining one of these puppies so that their desire to touch furred
 predators can be safely sated
 Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90%
 cuter and more epic
 Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hel outtia thet rule whenever alone
 So I hear that youve just recruited a human for your ship
 Yes, it's the first time that I've worked with these species, but they come highly recommended
 Say, you've worked with a few, what ips can you give me? l'd hate to have some kind of
 cutura misunderstanding i ts avoidable
 The first rule of working wth humans is never leave mem unsupervised
 Wait, what?
 1m serious Dont do it Things, Happen
 But wan, I thought that I heard you highly
 one on board?
 that every crew should have at least
 Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators, and are psychologicaly
 very resient If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can
 be invaluable Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew
 member Their ablity to get on with almost any species is legendary
 But Toks, didn't you just say
 The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anying It you leave them
 unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was
 sheer kuck that the Fanzorans thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown
 Prince to coo at him.
 Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia?
 The very same Surprisingy good sense of humour But dont even get me started on that one
 time with the Dunlip. Al Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet.
 A Dunip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun?
 Yup. Don't leave your hwmans unsupervised
 uh,take that under advisement
 Seriousy Gef a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they wil make their own I
 mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets
 they can get creative Dont even gat me started on the time one of them taped a kie to one of
 our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby
 Three weeks in and when we Enally caught the wreiched thing haf the humans on crew tried to
 revolt about us "kiling Stabby by removing the knife
 How how did you resolve that si?
 Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative
 soluton, I suppose
 And that sated the humans?
 Worse
 Worse?
 "They thought
 and held mock batties Then decided Stabby and Knitey were in love and now none af them will
 alow the others to stage ights between them any more
 was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spmgs to both
 So, if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they wll behave better when on other planets?
 Where do 1 get safe bonding pels?
 Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to
 create an inter galactic 'pet shop as they call t, the order forms are on the bridge
 If they get a pet this should prevent any krife welding auto-cleaners?
 You dont sound very reassuring
 Wel You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about ther pets is actually
 what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider safe
 OK Iam getting a little nervous about this.
 No, no, it's fine, Im just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to
 descrièe the creature belore they get it For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them
 order a pet without checking wial it was
 What happened?
 Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed felne creature called a Savannah Cat. My
 entre crew was terrifled of it, it was agie and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the
 human had no fear of t. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its
 beans' as they said,forcing the creatures claws out and then they would show people it's deadly
 claws while saying, and I quote, look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kills things, isn't it
 cute?
 Seriousty
 I have also heard stories from ther crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or
 more then they do, and they sieep next to the giant creature
 You are not making me feel belter with these stanes
 everythingomdus Source radoaclivepensan
 8,157 notes an
 2017
Sometimes you just gotta hug stuff

Sometimes you just gotta hug stuff

cleaners: Existential Comics @existentialcoms Follow When you blame a poor person for not getting a better job, you accept that while their job is necessary, whoever does it should be poor. RETWEETS LIKES 2,129 3,183 9:22 AM - 21 Apr 2017 342.1K 3.2K mswyrr: mysharona1987: Like, you want janitors and McDonald fast food workers and cleaners. You just don’t want them to make a liveable wage and have healthcare and be treated like proper human beings.   ultimately the people at the top want to replace them with machines. factory jobs have been lost to automation as well as companies moving abroad. they’re trying to get rid of truck drivers and other people who drive people/goods around. they want to replace employees at McDonalds. there’s serious articles about it and also “cute” articles about delivery robots and I think: that’s a working class job gone. one that was already fucking pathetic bc of how unfairly people who drive delivery are treated. but soon (within 5-10 years?) those jobs will just be gone. and idk what people are supposed to do at that point… just be “polite” and shuffle off and die in a corner somewhere because there’s simply not enough higher status/paying jobs to go around and they never had the educational or other opportunities to even compete for those jobs anyway? i suppose plumbers and electricians and some forms of maintenance will be necessary for a few decades until AI can think as creatively as humans but at some point we have to decide whether human lives have inherent worth apart from their worth under capitalism. and we, in the US, do not currently live in a society that believes they do.
cleaners: Existential Comics
 @existentialcoms
 Follow
 When you blame a poor person for not
 getting a better job, you accept that while
 their job is necessary, whoever does it
 should be poor.
 RETWEETS
 LIKES
 2,129 3,183
 9:22 AM - 21 Apr 2017
 342.1K 3.2K
mswyrr:

mysharona1987:

Like, you want janitors and McDonald fast food workers and cleaners.
You just don’t want them to make a liveable wage and have healthcare and be treated like proper human beings.  

ultimately the people at the top want to replace them with machines. factory jobs have been lost to automation as well as companies moving abroad. they’re trying to get rid of truck drivers and other people who drive people/goods around. they want to replace employees at McDonalds.
 there’s serious articles about it and also “cute” articles about delivery robots and I think: that’s a working class job gone. one that was already fucking pathetic bc of how unfairly people who drive delivery are treated. but soon (within 5-10 years?) those jobs will just be gone. and idk what people are supposed to do at that point… just be “polite” and shuffle off and die in a corner somewhere because there’s simply not enough higher status/paying jobs to go around and they never had the educational or other opportunities to even compete for those jobs anyway?
i suppose plumbers and electricians and some forms of maintenance will be necessary for a few decades until AI can think as creatively as humans
but at some point we have to decide whether human lives have inherent worth apart from their worth under capitalism. and we, in the US, do not currently live in a society that believes they do.

mswyrr: mysharona1987: Like, you want janitors and McDonald fast food workers and cleaners. You just don’t want them to make a liveable...