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Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.
Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE
 I SAlV I'M ITALIAN,
 EVERYONE KEEP4
 TEA IN ME AND
 AGKING IF I'M IN THE
 MAFIA

 NEXT TIME
 TELL THEM

 THEN THEY
 WILL FEAK
 YOU.
2srooky:

giancarlovolpe:

Based on a true story.

this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family. 
I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world. 
Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen. 
I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia.
So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck. 
And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc.
Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes. 
He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went. 
“Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away.
I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work. 
When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face. 
These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos. 
I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle. 
For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia. 
I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Bless Up, Emoji, and Food: Dunkin doesn't eat unless I microwave his food bc he thinks once it goes in the microwave it magically becomes human food 0:32 Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels)
Bless Up, Emoji, and Food: Dunkin doesn't eat unless I microwave his
 food bc he thinks once it goes in the
 microwave it magically becomes human food
 0:32
Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels)

Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me...

Apparently, Final Boss, and Party: thouartathaumaturgeharry G battlecrazed-axe-mage forgamers They should make a co- op game where you and a buddy go through many levels, leveling up and beating bosses But the final boss is each other You were my brother Player 2! crunchthedeerstroyer I one time did a campaign in DND where the entire party woke up in a trash heap, memories wiped, when a man in shining white armor approached them. He helped them up, healed them, and helped them escape what was essentially the dump and find their way into the sunlight. He told them of the tale of a wicked king of immense power who bargained for his abilities from a demon, hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a pearl necklace, and it was the man's duty to find those pearls, because they held a magic in them that could defeat the king This particular NPC was startlingly overpowered at first, right a long the levels of 6 while everyone else was just starting out, and he helped them along in the most dire situations, healing, defeating, and even resurrecting for them. There would be periods where he would be gone, and the party would have to face a crypt full of mummies together or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean and retrieve these milky white pearls that would give them the ability to help their friend and defeat the wicked king. Slowly, their memories came back to them, and that was a stark comfort for them, but the entire time, there seemed to be a piece missing After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the 6th one), they journied with the man to the wicked king's castle, and fought their way through endless ranks of guards, undead, demons, and even a lich, until they made their way to the sacred bed chamber of the king, that they all remembered the story of from before they had awoken in that garbage pile They opened the doors, only to find it empty save the usual furniture, marred by scratches and the ancient scrawl of demons. The man in the white armor sighed and walked into the bedroom. And his armor changed from white to pitch black, and the whole party remembered suddenly. That was the face of the wicked king, the face that smiled at them whenever he healed them, the face that looked stern as they suggested stupids things to find the pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon's control, the king had found a way to set him self up for defeat, by bringing his wive's pearls along with brave, powerful warriors. Every absence he felt was where he had to return to the demon's control and become the wicked king again, but he was determined to fight himself, to rid his own evil from the world, to end this curse of immortality and see his loved one again. I made the party fight the final boss, and they saw the eyes of a friend They all cried, and I am no longer allowed to DM for them. fuckyeahsnackables GLORIOUS. battlecrazed-axe- mage Excellent DMing! Source: forgamers 23,729 notes Great DD campaign
Apparently, Final Boss, and Party: thouartathaumaturgeharry
 G battlecrazed-axe-mage
 forgamers
 They should make a co-
 op game where you and
 a buddy go through many
 levels, leveling up and
 beating bosses But the
 final boss is each other
 You were my brother Player 2!
 crunchthedeerstroyer
 I one time did a campaign in DND where
 the entire party woke up in a trash heap,
 memories wiped, when a man in shining white
 armor approached them. He helped them up,
 healed them, and helped them escape what
 was essentially the dump and find their way
 into the sunlight. He told them of the tale
 of a wicked king of immense power who
 bargained for his abilities from a demon,
 hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed
 to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a
 pearl necklace, and it was the man's duty to
 find those pearls, because they held a magic
 in them that could defeat the king
 This particular NPC was startlingly
 overpowered at first, right a long the levels
 of 6 while everyone else was just starting
 out, and he helped them along in the most
 dire situations, healing, defeating, and even
 resurrecting for them. There would be periods
 where he would be gone, and the party would
 have to face a crypt full of mummies together
 or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean
 and retrieve these milky white pearls that
 would give them the ability to help their friend
 and defeat the wicked king. Slowly, their
 memories came back to them, and that was
 a stark comfort for them, but the entire time,
 there seemed to be a piece missing
 After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the
 6th one), they journied with the man to the
 wicked king's castle, and fought their way
 through endless ranks of guards, undead,
 demons, and even a lich, until they made their
 way to the sacred bed chamber of the king,
 that they all remembered the story of from
 before they had awoken in that garbage pile
 They opened the doors, only to find it empty
 save the usual furniture, marred by scratches
 and the ancient scrawl of demons. The
 man in the white armor sighed and walked
 into the bedroom.
 And his armor changed from white to pitch
 black, and the whole party remembered
 suddenly. That was the face of the wicked
 king, the face that smiled at them whenever
 he healed them, the face that looked stern
 as they suggested stupids things to find the
 pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon's
 control, the king had found a way to set him
 self up for defeat, by bringing his wive's pearls
 along with brave, powerful warriors. Every
 absence he felt was where he had to return to
 the demon's control and become the wicked
 king again, but he was determined to fight
 himself, to rid his own evil from the world,
 to end this curse of immortality and see his
 loved one again.
 I made the party fight the final boss, and they
 saw the eyes of a friend
 They all cried, and I am no longer allowed
 to DM for them.
 fuckyeahsnackables
 GLORIOUS.
 battlecrazed-axe-
 mage
 Excellent DMing!
 Source: forgamers
 23,729 notes
Great DD campaign

Great DD campaign

Apparently, Final Boss, and Party: thouartathaumaturgeharry G battlecrazed-axe-mage forgamers They should make a co- op game where you and a buddy go through many levels, leveling up and beating bosses But the final boss is each other You were my brother Player 2! crunchthedeerstroyer I one time did a campaign in DND where the entire party woke up in a trash heap, memories wiped, when a man in shining white armor approached them. He helped them up, healed them, and helped them escape what was essentially the dump and find their way into the sunlight. He told them of the tale of a wicked king of immense power who bargained for his abilities from a demon, hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a pearl necklace, and it was the man's duty to find those pearls, because they held a magic in them that could defeat the king This particular NPC was startlingly overpowered at first, right a long the levels of 6 while everyone else was just starting out, and he helped them along in the most dire situations, healing, defeating, and even resurrecting for them. There would be periods where he would be gone, and the party would have to face a crypt full of mummies together or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean and retrieve these milky white pearls that would give them the ability to help their friend and defeat the wicked king. Slowly, their memories came back to them, and that was a stark comfort for them, but the entire time, there seemed to be a piece missing After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the 6th one), they journied with the man to the wicked king's castle, and fought their way through endless ranks of guards, undead, demons, and even a lich, until they made their way to the sacred bed chamber of the king, that they all remembered the story of from before they had awoken in that garbage pile They opened the doors, only to find it empty save the usual furniture, marred by scratches and the ancient scrawl of demons. The man in the white armor sighed and walked into the bedroom. And his armor changed from white to pitch black, and the whole party remembered suddenly. That was the face of the wicked king, the face that smiled at them whenever he healed them, the face that looked stern as they suggested stupids things to find the pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon's control, the king had found a way to set him self up for defeat, by bringing his wive's pearls along with brave, powerful warriors. Every absence he felt was where he had to return to the demon's control and become the wicked king again, but he was determined to fight himself, to rid his own evil from the world, to end this curse of immortality and see his loved one again. I made the party fight the final boss, and they saw the eyes of a friend They all cried, and I am no longer allowed to DM for them. fuckyeahsnackables GLORIOUS. battlecrazed-axe- mage Excellent DMing! Source: forgamers 23,729 notes Great DD campaign
Apparently, Final Boss, and Party: thouartathaumaturgeharry
 G battlecrazed-axe-mage
 forgamers
 They should make a co-
 op game where you and
 a buddy go through many
 levels, leveling up and
 beating bosses But the
 final boss is each other
 You were my brother Player 2!
 crunchthedeerstroyer
 I one time did a campaign in DND where
 the entire party woke up in a trash heap,
 memories wiped, when a man in shining white
 armor approached them. He helped them up,
 healed them, and helped them escape what
 was essentially the dump and find their way
 into the sunlight. He told them of the tale
 of a wicked king of immense power who
 bargained for his abilities from a demon,
 hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed
 to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a
 pearl necklace, and it was the man's duty to
 find those pearls, because they held a magic
 in them that could defeat the king
 This particular NPC was startlingly
 overpowered at first, right a long the levels
 of 6 while everyone else was just starting
 out, and he helped them along in the most
 dire situations, healing, defeating, and even
 resurrecting for them. There would be periods
 where he would be gone, and the party would
 have to face a crypt full of mummies together
 or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean
 and retrieve these milky white pearls that
 would give them the ability to help their friend
 and defeat the wicked king. Slowly, their
 memories came back to them, and that was
 a stark comfort for them, but the entire time,
 there seemed to be a piece missing
 After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the
 6th one), they journied with the man to the
 wicked king's castle, and fought their way
 through endless ranks of guards, undead,
 demons, and even a lich, until they made their
 way to the sacred bed chamber of the king,
 that they all remembered the story of from
 before they had awoken in that garbage pile
 They opened the doors, only to find it empty
 save the usual furniture, marred by scratches
 and the ancient scrawl of demons. The
 man in the white armor sighed and walked
 into the bedroom.
 And his armor changed from white to pitch
 black, and the whole party remembered
 suddenly. That was the face of the wicked
 king, the face that smiled at them whenever
 he healed them, the face that looked stern
 as they suggested stupids things to find the
 pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon's
 control, the king had found a way to set him
 self up for defeat, by bringing his wive's pearls
 along with brave, powerful warriors. Every
 absence he felt was where he had to return to
 the demon's control and become the wicked
 king again, but he was determined to fight
 himself, to rid his own evil from the world,
 to end this curse of immortality and see his
 loved one again.
 I made the party fight the final boss, and they
 saw the eyes of a friend
 They all cried, and I am no longer allowed
 to DM for them.
 fuckyeahsnackables
 GLORIOUS.
 battlecrazed-axe-
 mage
 Excellent DMing!
 Source: forgamers
 23,729 notes
Great DD campaign

Great DD campaign

Crime, Dude, and Friends: evitrorn best moments in gaming journalism journalist gets real yakuza members to play yakuza 3 and asks for their opinions on its authenticity that's it evitron highlights What's with all the fucking gaijin in this area?" "Dude, don't say that, use gaikokujin, it's nicer." "Oh, shit, right. What's with all the fucking gaikokujin in this area?" ."The breaded pork cutlet bento box is like mega all of them start dragging kiryu for his shitty cheap ."Shooting people sends a message." "So does (after being told that massage parlors, mahjong, power. More than ramen. That's accurate." shirt for five minutes shooting anything." and hostess clubs were cut from the US version) "I feel sorry for the people who bought the American version. SEGA USA sucks." tramampoline S: I don't know any ex-vakuza runnin orphanages. K: There was one a few years ago. A good guy M: You sure it wasn't just a tax shelter? K: Sure it was a tax shelter but he ran it like a legitimate thing. You know michigrim HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE BACKSTORY THOUGH Several months ago, I introduced you to Jake Adelstein, the fearless to a fault Jerwish American reporter who spent 12 years as a crime beat reporter in In Tokyo Vice, we meet Adelstein's archnemesis, a former yakuza boss named Tadamasa Goto, we also learn Adelstein he bas a hodge podge of allies in the pervasive Japanese underworld. Turns out he's good enough friends was able to convince them to conduct an experiment for Boing Boing to evaluate Yakuza 3, a popular video game about the infamous gangsters created for ordinary citizens. And so it was that Adelstein showedup at a shady real estate office in Tokyo one Thursday afiernoon with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Duty Free whiskey to teach these gangsters how to handle a PlayStation controller -Lisa Japan and wrote about it in bis book 1 e. with a few high-ranking gangster bosses that he JAKE ADELSTEIN COVERS THE YAKUZA BEAT AS A FREELANCE JOURNALIST AND JUST HAPPENS TO KNOW THESE DUDES Fuente: evitron 145,867 notas I cant think of a witty title so Im going to take this chance to ask how to clear the notifications and have it stick.
Crime, Dude, and Friends: evitrorn
 best moments in gaming journalism
 journalist gets real yakuza members to play yakuza
 3 and asks for their opinions on its authenticity
 that's it
 evitron
 highlights
 What's with all the fucking gaijin in this area?"
 "Dude, don't say that, use gaikokujin, it's nicer." "Oh,
 shit, right. What's with all the fucking gaikokujin in
 this area?"
 ."The breaded pork cutlet bento box is like mega
 all of them start dragging kiryu for his shitty cheap
 ."Shooting people sends a message." "So does
 (after being told that massage parlors, mahjong,
 power. More than ramen. That's accurate."
 shirt for five minutes
 shooting anything."
 and hostess clubs were cut from the US version) "I
 feel sorry for the people who bought the American
 version. SEGA USA sucks."
 tramampoline
 S: I don't know any
 ex-vakuza runnin
 orphanages.
 K: There was one a few years ago. A good guy
 M: You sure it wasn't just a tax shelter?
 K: Sure it was a tax shelter but he ran it like a legitimate
 thing. You know
 michigrim
 HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE BACKSTORY THOUGH
 Several months ago, I introduced you to Jake Adelstein, the fearless
 to a fault Jerwish American reporter who spent 12 years as a crime
 beat reporter in
 In Tokyo Vice, we meet Adelstein's archnemesis, a former yakuza
 boss named Tadamasa Goto, we also learn Adelstein he bas a hodge
 podge of allies in the pervasive Japanese underworld. Turns out he's
 good enough friends
 was able to convince them to conduct an experiment for Boing
 Boing to evaluate Yakuza 3, a popular video game about the
 infamous gangsters created for ordinary citizens. And so it was that
 Adelstein showedup at a shady real estate office in Tokyo one
 Thursday afiernoon with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Duty
 Free whiskey to teach these gangsters how to handle a PlayStation
 controller -Lisa
 Japan and wrote about it in bis book 1
 e.
 with a few high-ranking gangster bosses that he
 JAKE ADELSTEIN COVERS THE YAKUZA BEAT AS A
 FREELANCE JOURNALIST AND JUST HAPPENS TO
 KNOW THESE DUDES
 Fuente: evitron
 145,867 notas
I cant think of a witty title so Im going to take this chance to ask how to clear the notifications and have it stick.

I cant think of a witty title so Im going to take this chance to ask how to clear the notifications and have it stick.