Didnt
Didnt

Didnt

Tear It Up
Tear It Up

Tear It Up

A Little
A Little

A Little

You Looked
You Looked

You Looked

Needs
Needs

Needs

Getting A Job
Getting A Job

Getting A Job

Your
Your

Your

Buy
Buy

Buy

Cant Tell
Cant Tell

Cant Tell

But
But

But

🔥 | Latest

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston
 Arthur More Organ
 Holland
 Hoseas Before Broseas
 swagalicious crunchy outside,
 self-deprecating chewy center
 - "how many licks does it take
 the squad's favorite disaster
 scrappy damsel
 squares up at a moment's notice
 can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression"
 goth jock dropout just wants to settle down -
 - dumbest smart person alive
 - denies being moe
 - "wanna know how I got these scars-
 wait where are you going"
 - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break
 - "Actually, correlation is not causation"
 - thinks they're charming, is actually charming
 - constantly forgets their age
 - "back in my day
 - only one who knows what
 the fuck they're talking about
 incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up
 - one shot, one kill
 - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes"
 - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody
 - productive procrastinator
 can never hold down a relationship
 - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby
 suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions"
 - jokes hit too close to home
 - Good bad influence
 - weed friend
 Make It Work
 Guy Fieri
 Will Billiamson
 Bad Santa
 -always knows what to play at a party
 - adopts everyone on sight
 - great with kids, great with animals,
 wants to hold your baby
 - scientific evidence good girls
 want bad boys
 - tsundere
 - burns salads
 - "have you eaten today"
 - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun
 - professional alcoholic
 - always needs to borrow money
 - terrible drunk, never remembers
 what happened that night
 walks around the house in their underwear
 gives great hugs
 needs seven showers
 group's unexpected therapist
 patronus is secondhand embarrassment
 just wants to be part of the family
 "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"*
 is the party
 cultured, well-traveled and stylish;
 made for Instagram
 - *gestures to all of you* "we need
 to do something about this"
 - always starts drama, yet always
 seems to avoid it
 bad taste in literally everything,
 banned from recommending outings
 - will always have squad's back
 iron constitution, never gets sick
 - "say that to my fucking face"
 - may seem Mad, is actually Sad
 petty
 *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single
 starts the day with horoscope readings
 - Chaotic Loyal
 black coffee, leaves

 t"
 FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh)
 Bastard Millennial
 Green Hat McGuy
 "join team chat"
 - fashionable at all times, even when
 going to the grocery store
 can't do crime if you ain't cute
 -only dates fictional men
 won't leave the house for days need
 lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor
 regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor
 too nice for own good
 living boke and tsukkomi routine
 to shut up yesterday
 social interaction, naps for ten years
 it's basic hygiene
 and laying beneath the stars
 -"please stop talking"
 exhausted after two minutes of
 maybe they're born with it, maybe
 soft spot for animals, slow dancing
 cooler than you
 . living proof the scariest people
 frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion
 come in the nicest packages
 graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again"
 nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive
 every day is roast session day
 - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them,
 I'll roast me fuckin' self"
 - Has never completed No Nut November
 sings in the shower
 - adores Linkin Park
 late
 - "are you ready yet" "almost"
 - allergic to idiots
 Adam Sandler
 Regina O'George
 Let Me Speak To Your Manager
 - retired mom friend, back from retirement
 ages every time someone references
 a vine instead of responding normally
 - smokes sixty packs a day
 Goof Troop
 social norms are for dweebs
 just wants to play videogames
 - No Drama? No ProblemTM
 -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To
 Be Toppled From Throne"
 - loses shit over small things
 -THIS close to cutting someone
 and snack in peace
 shoves people in lockers to show affection
 forgets not to swear in front of other
 never forgets a birthday
 shaped like a friend
 only one in squad who can cook
 only one in squad who can drive
 people's children
 the queen of throwing down
 "fuck, sorry about that"
 given up on romance
 savwy businessowner
 resident gossip
 big problems are Whatever
 - needs therapy
 - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing
 To Love' And 'Before He Cheats'
 common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies
 - a matryoshka of pain
 - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck
 knows Wicked by heart
 - only one in squad who does taxes
 Songs Are
 unforgiveable weeb
 - villain origin story is that stubborn
 chin hair that keeps growing back
 - always says 'gg' after every game
 incredible skin care regimen
 - "just drink more water"
 award winning sailor mouth
 - Big Hair, Don't Care

 "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182
 World's Saddest Violin
 Bullshit Magician
 Expletive Noises
 Looks like a million dollars, is probably
 worth a million dollars
 - family person, loves everybody
 keeps Twitter on private
 - meows back at their cat
 - extroverted introvert
 -feels guilty for not logging into
 Animal Crossing for nine months
 thinks existence is kind of funny
 invented the word 'dapper
 - the living embodiment of when
 you try your best but you don't succeed'
 - just wants to be loved and cherished
 -great with animals, never scratched
 the life of the party, when they're
 not launching into drunken diatribes
 -smartest smart person alive
 -stays up until three in the morning
 thinking about the meaning of life
 - an essential addition to any squad
 - reads at 10,000 miles per hour
 wants to stab Banksy
 hates stan culture
 hoards comfort food beneath their desk
 gets sentimental over their Neopets
 used to hoard Beanie Babies
 - hates answering the phone
 - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms
 - needs more friends
 - stylish drunk with two hollow legs
 - never fails to speak their mind
 great at impressions
 -not-so-secretly depressed
 - regularly confuses main for private
 "just forget I said that haha"
 preserves their right hook for justice
 - stared into the void, got bored
 quotes movies when provoked
 - "That's just, like, your opinion, man."
 the most perfect teeth
 Baby Boy...Baby
 Talk Shit, Get Hit
 Mr. Krabs
 A Dog
 - soft outside, softer inside
 - never ashamed to cry
 - weak spot for pups, needs
 to pet every dog they see
 -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate
 needs to seriously reconsider things
 trolling game out of control
 A dog
 - never seems to accumulate debt,
 also never tips the waiter
 took college prep in high school
 - can't fight to save their life
 - surprisingly terrifying comebacks
 - multilingual
 gg ez clap"
 oves Bon Iver, Death Grips
 and Beyonce equally
 - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob
 workplace's local kissass
 likes to give gifts to sad friends
 living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies
 home life is a mess
 - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms
 to take one
 - adopted by everybody
 - "Oh, I won't report you...yet"
 believes they were born in the wrong era
 - has never yelled once
 - in love with the smell of old books
 - wishes on stars when no one's looking
 leaves breadcrumbs in butter
 a well-rounded tool
 - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind."
champagnesuperhoeva:
red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs
tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis 


I am all of these yet none of them at the same time

champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic p...

Tablet, Target, and Tumblr: hyilians: nivrir: i let my mom borrow my tablet and she drew these one time i let my grandpa borrow my tablet and he drew a cowboy
Tablet, Target, and Tumblr: hyilians:

nivrir:

i let my mom borrow my tablet and she drew these

one time i let my grandpa borrow my tablet and he drew a cowboy

hyilians: nivrir: i let my mom borrow my tablet and she drew these one time i let my grandpa borrow my tablet and he drew a cowboy

Funny, Yo, and Borrow: Nigga really stressing...fr 0:31 Can I borrow some gum, nah not a new piece, I want the gum that’s in yo mouth nigga 🗣 @larnite • ➫➫➫ Follow @Staggering for more funny posts daily!
Funny, Yo, and Borrow: Nigga really stressing...fr
 0:31
Can I borrow some gum, nah not a new piece, I want the gum that’s in yo mouth nigga 🗣 @larnite • ➫➫➫ Follow @Staggering for more funny posts daily!

Can I borrow some gum, nah not a new piece, I want the gum that’s in yo mouth nigga 🗣 @larnite • ➫➫➫ Follow @Staggering for more funny posts...

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted : Computer Hacker
Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr
 Wanted: Computer Hacker
 Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across
 the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI
 only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to
 help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost
 of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at
 technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer
 and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve
 e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get
 suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you
 don't have your own)
 OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a
 rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just
 checking out the competition"
 I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they
 ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me
 If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I
 will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover
 has been blown and we need to get out of there
 If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I
 will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in
 money because that would leave a money trail that the police
 could use to track us down. However, since you are so
 interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like
 the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk
 that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where
 that came from.
 Michael
 Re: Bakery Hack
 Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just
 remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need
 to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I
 could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my
 uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h
 this is not ideal but it will have to do.
 Michael
Wanted : Computer Hacker

Wanted : Computer Hacker

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Help me hack a bakery
Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr
 Wanted: Computer Hacker
 Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across
 the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI
 only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to
 help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost
 of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at
 technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer
 and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve
 e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get
 suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you
 don't have your own)
 OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a
 rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just
 checking out the competition"
 I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they
 ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me
 If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I
 will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover
 has been blown and we need to get out of there
 If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I
 will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in
 money because that would leave a money trail that the police
 could use to track us down. However, since you are so
 interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like
 the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk
 that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where
 that came from.
 Michael
 Re: Bakery Hack
 Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just
 remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need
 to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I
 could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my
 uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h
 this is not ideal but it will have to do.
 Michael
Help me hack a bakery

Help me hack a bakery

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted : Computer Hacker
Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr
 Wanted: Computer Hacker
 Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across
 the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI
 only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to
 help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost
 of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at
 technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer
 and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve
 e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get
 suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you
 don't have your own)
 OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a
 rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just
 checking out the competition"
 I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they
 ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me
 If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I
 will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover
 has been blown and we need to get out of there
 If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I
 will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in
 money because that would leave a money trail that the police
 could use to track us down. However, since you are so
 interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like
 the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk
 that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where
 that came from.
 Michael
 Re: Bakery Hack
 Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just
 remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need
 to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I
 could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my
 uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h
 this is not ideal but it will have to do.
 Michael
Wanted : Computer Hacker

Wanted : Computer Hacker

Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr Wanted: Computer Hacker Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you don't have your own) OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just checking out the competition" I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover has been blown and we need to get out of there If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in money because that would leave a money trail that the police could use to track us down. However, since you are so interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where that came from. Michael Re: Bakery Hack Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h this is not ideal but it will have to do. Michael Wanted : Computer Hacker
Computers, Money, and Police: @Michaeligr
 Wanted: Computer Hacker
 Hi I am Michael and I am pretty sure that the bakery across
 the street charged me for 8 croissants yesterday even thoughI
 only bought 7. To avenge this injustice, I need someone to
 help me hack into the bakery's computer and transfer the cost
 of a croissant from their account to mine. If you are good at
 technology, be outside the bakery at 5.18pm with a computer
 and we can carry out my plan. Here is what it will involve
 e We will be dressed as bakers so that people don't get
 suspicious (I will bring a spare baker's hat just in case you
 don't have your own)
 OIf anyone asks us what we're doing, just say, "We own a
 rival bakery called Full Speed Abread and we are just
 checking out the competition"
 I have memorised the Wikipedia page on bread so if they
 ask any detailed questions about bread, leave it to me
 If they ask any questions about bread that I can't answer, I
 will shout "RUN" That will be the signal that our cover
 has been blown and we need to get out of there
 If you do this job right and reimburse me for the croissant, I
 will see to it that you are rewarded. I will NOT pay you in
 money because that would leave a money trail that the police
 could use to track us down. However, since you are so
 interested in computers, I will pay you in floppy disks, like
 the one below. And don't worry, that's not the only floppy disk
 that will be coming your way. There are plenty more where
 that came from.
 Michael
 Re: Bakery Hack
 Hi. Michael again from the poster above. I have just
 remembered that I only have one baker's hat so you will need
 to bring your own. Hopefully this is not a problem. If it is, I
 could possibly borrow the protective headgear from my
 uncle's beekeeper's suit and you could wear that instead? h
 this is not ideal but it will have to do.
 Michael
Wanted : Computer Hacker

Wanted : Computer Hacker

Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil asa gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?" 工@oscarewilde. 1d the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement 3 0458 8,741 工@oscarewilde. 1d utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person 3 I @oscarewilde 1d i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? I @oscarewilde .1d 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow 5 633 13.8K @oscarewilde 1d I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing 7 834 14.8K @oscarewilde 10 they Always take the pencil 67 2,088 33.5K prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying
Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil asa
 gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably, was 'what the
 christ am i meant to do with this?"

 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With
 This. And so a while ago i took it in with
 me to a lecture, hoping against hope that
 whichever poor Fool was unfortunate
 enough to sit next to me might have
 forgotten or misplaced their writing
 implement
 3
 0458 8,741
 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent on
 the person not using a laptop. So the
 chances of success are extraordinarily
 slim, and I've only managed to find
 suitable candidates three times in all of
 the dozens of occasions i've had The
 Pencil on my person
 3
 I @oscarewilde 1d
 i size up my target, watching them feign
 patting their pockets in vain for the
 ballpoint they so obviously left at home,
 and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?

 I @oscarewilde .1d
 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing to
 my ears and i can barely hear them. I
 maintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 5
 633
 13.8K
 @oscarewilde 1d
 I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its
 sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker
 through the 5 stages of grief, landing on
 acceptance, as they realise it's This or
 Nothing
 7
 834
 14.8K

 @oscarewilde 10
 they Always take the pencil
 67
 2,088
 33.5K
prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying

prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying