Threes
Threes

Threes

On The Way
On The Way

On The Way

The
The

The

How Much
How Much

How Much

Grilling
Grilling

Grilling

Last
Last

Last

Murderer
Murderer

Murderer

Scaling
Scaling

Scaling

Straight Savage
Straight Savage

Straight Savage

When
When

When

🔥 | Latest

Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CAN...

Tumblr, Blog, and Good: RA ra-lek: @ramimalekgay:  me, rattling a can against some bars: please sir spare washingroe art about time for some soft boys, very good choice
Tumblr, Blog, and Good: RA
ra-lek:

@ramimalekgay: 

me, rattling a can against some bars: please sir spare washingroe art

about time for some soft boys, very good choice

ra-lek: @ramimalekgay:  me, rattling a can against some bars: please sir spare washingroe art about time for some soft boys, very good ch...

Another One, Bad, and Barbie: er er KINDER SURPRISE 2OG KINGER SURPRISE T-1 1.17 KS GIRLS 20G KINDER SURPRISE GIRL 1.17 thoughts-of-an-x-factor: ohgressfuriosa: castiel-knight-of-hell: jen-kollic: thejollity: jen-kollic: hobopoppins: manaphy: wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS. I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs. So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.” I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry. And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs. This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it. Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers. I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.” Confetti. The fucking confetti. It barely covered 5% of the image. Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.” I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.” This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids. So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well… in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer. Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society Fuck everything. My father was one of these parents (along with several other harmful issues!), and even though I know, for an absolute fact, that his world views and ways are entirely wrong, this shit he tried to ingrain into me still effects me to this day.Parents, don’t ruin your fucking kids by treating them like this.
Another One, Bad, and Barbie: er
 er
 KINDER SURPRISE
 2OG KINGER SURPRISE T-1
 1.17
 KS GIRLS
 20G KINDER SURPRISE GIRL
 1.17
thoughts-of-an-x-factor:

ohgressfuriosa:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

jen-kollic:

thejollity:

jen-kollic:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:
wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered
OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.
And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it.

Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers.
I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.”
Confetti.
The fucking confetti.
It barely covered 5% of the image.
Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.”
I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.”
This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids.

So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well…

in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer.
Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society


Fuck everything.

My father was one of these parents (along with several other harmful issues!), and even though I know, for an absolute fact, that his world views and ways are entirely wrong, this shit he tried to ingrain into me still effects me to this day.Parents, don’t ruin your fucking kids by treating them like this.

thoughts-of-an-x-factor: ohgressfuriosa: castiel-knight-of-hell: jen-kollic: thejollity: jen-kollic: hobopoppins: manaphy: wow I didn...

Being Alone, Cheating, and Crazy: And you guys have the nerve to call me a liar you had the nerve to try and act like my friend stand and see the sadness I was in friend me on Facebook, and then post pictures of my husband that you came from by God knows who to probably purposely interfere and feed him lies or you both were in on it together, COPS thats Who you both probably work for or you recruited him and he really did love me in the beginning your probably not even the real girl he was talking to l bet your whole identity fake, well l'm going to find out everything about you who you both are, and if it's the last thing I ever dol promise you that now l'm taking the private investigatorsrt on A and proof he, hired and sent You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More paid, to purposely inflict mental duress and trigger my PTSD I thought the was you on the nanny cam but see that's why A didn't get a dime, because he Was sloppy in the beginning And betweens, I knew he was cheating and using me and apart of publicly outing me after the wedding to create mental dehabilitation ive got all your names identities and pictures but atleastni figured it out before I was stupid enough to buy a car or pay a attorney it's you and him that hack my electronics vou were the one moving my stuff and hiding it when you were over here fucking him you both are perfect for each other psychopaths liars users and snakes but I promise you if l do it with my last breath I'm going to mak J 'e he goes to jail and if I'm лу I'll get all of You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More jail and if l'm lucky l'll get all of you sent to jail. I just wonder though for he was recruited just b4 the wedding or from the beginning something tells me that it was from the beginning.. Karma so going to get you, and misery you caused and cause others will fall upon your life's and souls the child your bearing will carry your sins, the Hapiness you stole all for money or other things of this world you'll pay for with your souls. But my life long torture ends today no longer will any of you win, no longer will I fall for your mind games I'm going to fight back and win win win, you guys are something else all the proof I have when we go to court and I know that your not the only girl S aka P is involved but vou know what th lians say laugh now cry <er... You think You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More laugh now cry later... You think your going to get away but this isnt American soil this is Canadian land this is the queens country where we are guided by humans rights and truly governed by the UN. And the UN has no tolerance for Gangstalking! And tell A I'm not signing anything 'II see him behind bars I'm going to make sure all the evidence is displayed in divorce court too he can say 911 calls that l abused him little does he know I have recordings of the calls where vou can see him putting on this grandiose display of false crys all while smiling... I know I've been knew he was dirty A with the tiny tinky dick. The life insurance he pulled out in my name, this time I'm not going to let me be the sacrifice because I'm focused sober and mentally grounded no You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More to let me be the sacrifice because I'm focused sober and mentally grounded no longer are my thoughts emotional there logical and intellectual get ready for me to expose who and what you ppl really are with God has my leader and archangel Michael my protectors will conquer and destroy this evil psychopathic cult/USGovt extension although now with proof you exist and names photos recordings I don't think the govt of Canada will be to pleased that the US has beern running unsanctioned operations within their borders.and nowI think it's time for thevUSB to be released You lost your mind. Leave me alone You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More This lady is convinced my fiancé is her husband in disguise. She thinks one of my friends is a bounty hunter from Texas sent by the Mexican cartel to steal her inheritance and ruin her relationship. (Idk if this belongs here, I didn't know where else to post this.)
Being Alone, Cheating, and Crazy: And you guys have the nerve
 to call me a liar you had the
 nerve to try and act like my
 friend stand and see the
 sadness I was in friend me on
 Facebook, and then post
 pictures of my husband that
 you came from
 by God knows who to
 probably purposely interfere
 and feed him lies or you both
 were in on it together, COPS
 thats Who you both probably
 work for or you recruited him
 and he really did love me in
 the beginning your probably
 not even the real girl he was
 talking to l bet your whole
 identity fake, well l'm going to
 find out everything about you
 who you both are, and if it's
 the last thing I ever dol
 promise you that now l'm
 taking the private
 investigatorsrt on A
 and proof he, hired and
 sent
 You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More

 paid, to purposely inflict
 mental duress and trigger my
 PTSD I thought the was you
 on the nanny cam but see
 that's why A didn't get a
 dime, because he Was sloppy
 in the beginning And
 betweens, I knew he was
 cheating and using me and
 apart of publicly outing me
 after the wedding to create
 mental dehabilitation ive got
 all your names identities and
 pictures but atleastni figured
 it out before I was stupid
 enough to buy a car or pay a
 attorney it's you and him that
 hack my electronics vou were
 the one moving my stuff and
 hiding it when you were over
 here fucking him you both are
 perfect for each other
 psychopaths liars users and
 snakes but I promise you if l
 do it with my last breath I'm
 going to mak J 'e he goes to
 jail and if I'm лу I'll get all of
 You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More

 jail and if l'm lucky l'll get all of
 you sent to jail. I just wonder
 though for he was recruited
 just b4 the wedding or from
 the beginning something tells
 me that it was from the
 beginning.. Karma so going to
 get you, and misery you
 caused and cause others will
 fall upon your life's and souls
 the child your bearing will
 carry your sins, the Hapiness
 you stole all for money or
 other things of this world
 you'll pay for with your souls.
 But my life long torture ends
 today no longer will any of you
 win, no longer will I fall for
 your mind games I'm going to
 fight back and win win win,
 you guys are something else
 all the proof I have when we
 go to court and I know that
 your not the only girl S
 aka P is involved but vou
 know what th lians say
 laugh now cry <er... You think
 You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More

 laugh now cry later... You think
 your going to get away but
 this isnt American soil this is
 Canadian land this is the
 queens country where we are
 guided by humans rights and
 truly governed by the UN. And
 the UN has no tolerance for
 Gangstalking! And tell A
 I'm not signing anything 'II
 see him behind bars I'm going
 to make sure all the evidence
 is displayed in divorce court
 too he can say 911 calls that l
 abused him little does he
 know I have recordings of the
 calls where vou can see him
 putting on this grandiose
 display of false crys all while
 smiling... I know I've been
 knew he was dirty A with
 the tiny tinky dick. The life
 insurance he pulled out in my
 name, this time I'm not going
 to let me be the sacrifice
 because I'm focused sober
 and mentally grounded no
 You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More

 to let me be the sacrifice
 because I'm focused sober
 and mentally grounded no
 longer are my thoughts
 emotional there logical and
 intellectual get ready for me to
 expose who and what you ppl
 really are with God has my
 leader and archangel Michael
 my protectors will conquer
 and destroy this evil
 psychopathic cult/USGovt
 extension although now with
 proof you exist and names
 photos recordings I don't think
 the govt of Canada will be to
 pleased that the US has beern
 running unsanctioned
 operations within their
 borders.and nowI think it's
 time for thevUSB to be
 released
 You lost your mind. Leave
 me alone
 You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More
This lady is convinced my fiancé is her husband in disguise. She thinks one of my friends is a bounty hunter from Texas sent by the Mexican cartel to steal her inheritance and ruin her relationship. (Idk if this belongs here, I didn't know where else to post this.)

This lady is convinced my fiancé is her husband in disguise. She thinks one of my friends is a bounty hunter from Texas sent by the Mexican ...