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Arsenal, Ass, and Bitch: What the Fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'11 have you know I graduated top of ny class in the Nauy Seals, and I'ue been involued in numerous secret raids on A1-Quaeda, and I haue over 390 confirmed kills. I an trained in gorilla wafre and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just anoth er target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me oer the Internet? Think again, Fucker. As we speak I an contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better pre pare For the storm, maggot. The storn that wipes out the pa thetic little thing you call your life You 're fucking dead, kid. I can be anyuhere, anytine, and I can kill you in ouer seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I haue access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your mis erable ass off the Face of the continent, you little shit. IF only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comnent was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot I will shit fury al ill drown in it. You 're fucking dead, kiddo l over you and you w Trump threatening President Rouhani (2018).
Arsenal, Ass, and Bitch: What the Fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little
 bitch? I'11 have you know I graduated top of ny class in the
 Nauy Seals, and I'ue been involued in numerous secret raids
 on A1-Quaeda, and I haue over 390 confirmed kills. I an
 trained in gorilla wafre and I'm the top sniper in the
 entire US armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just anoth
 er target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the
 likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark
 my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that
 shit to me oer the Internet? Think again, Fucker. As we
 speak I an contacting my secret network of spies across the
 USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better pre
 pare For the storm, maggot. The storn that wipes out the pa
 thetic little thing you call your life You 're fucking dead,
 kid. I can be anyuhere, anytine, and I can kill you in ouer
 seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not
 only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I haue
 access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine
 Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your mis
 erable ass off the Face of the continent, you little shit. IF
 only you could have known what unholy retribution your little
 clever comnent was about to bring down upon you, maybe you
 would have held your fucking tongue But you couldn't, you
 didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot
 I will shit fury al ill drown in it. You 're
 fucking dead, kiddo
 l over you and you w
Trump threatening President Rouhani (2018).

Trump threatening President Rouhani (2018).

Anaconda, Beer, and Bitch: It wasnt for money, but I once licked a schoolbus window for a full minute in exchange for a chocolate bar. I hope this gets seen. Havn't told many people. In 8th grade we were dissecting frogs. A kid in my lab group bet me a hundred bucks I wouldn't eat the liver. I ate the liver. Yes it was dripping in formaldehyde. Teacher saw and I managed to convince her it was nothing. That night I got so embarrassed that I called the kid and told him I didn't eat the liver and that I faked it. So technically I ate a paisonous piece of frog for nothing at all, licked 5 of my friends bare feet (I'm talking heel to toe) for $10 a pop, easiest $50 I've ever made :) would not do again: 1 drank a shot of blue Dawn dish detergent for $S in my high school biology class. I threw up green foam in the next period Wasn't for money, but I "married" a boy in elementary school for a box of Crayola Silver Swirl Crayons. Bitch didn't even pay up. A guy approached me outside my gym after a workout and paid me $100 to smell my feet. Not my finest moment, but when attending college in the early 00's, a guy who lived on my floor shaved his own head, put the resulting hair in a shopping bag, and then said that he would pay me $20 to eat all of it. I accepted. My father bet me twenty bucks I wouldn't eat half of a live bluegill...thinking my then seventeen girl guts could't do t, he was shocked when I bit the wriggling fish in half and swallowed half of it. I bought a knife with the You will be our leader, Sent naked pictures for RuneScape gold... not proud. 60m, fair deal though. Friend expelied a kidney stone. I ate it for 20 I was at a beer festival and chugged from a dump bucket that everyone would dump their beer into after tasting it. My friend paid me $10 bucks and some random guy tossed in another $5. All in all, I'd do it again. Same year some eccentric rich old lady pulled me aside at the restaurant I work at and asked me to be a waiter at her parisian style engagement party for her friend. She said I get $500. So I said sure. Arrived when she asked me to. Turns out she wanted to paint me gold glue on gold leaves to my body, and have me wear a gold thong, and only a gold thong. I did it. Got $500 bucks plus tons of tips from crazy ladies. And I only lost two points of dignity Worked retail. These Ridiculous Stories Show Just How Far People Will Go To Make a Buck
Anaconda, Beer, and Bitch: It wasnt for money, but I once licked a
 schoolbus window for a full minute in exchange
 for a chocolate bar.
 I hope this gets seen. Havn't told many people.
 In 8th grade we were dissecting frogs. A kid in
 my lab group bet me a hundred bucks I
 wouldn't eat the liver. I ate the liver. Yes it was
 dripping in formaldehyde. Teacher saw and I
 managed to convince her it was nothing. That
 night I got so embarrassed that I called the kid
 and told him I didn't eat the liver and that I
 faked it. So technically I ate a paisonous piece
 of frog for nothing at all,
 licked 5 of my friends bare feet (I'm talking heel
 to toe) for $10 a pop, easiest $50 I've ever
 made :)
 would not do again:
 1 drank a shot of blue Dawn dish detergent for
 $S in my high school biology class. I threw up
 green foam in the next period
 Wasn't for money, but I "married" a boy in
 elementary school for a box of Crayola Silver
 Swirl Crayons. Bitch didn't even pay up.
 A guy approached me outside my gym after a
 workout and paid me $100 to smell my feet.
 Not my finest moment, but when attending
 college in the early 00's, a guy who lived on my
 floor shaved his own head, put the resulting
 hair in a shopping bag, and then said that he
 would pay me $20 to eat all of it. I accepted.
 My father bet me twenty bucks I wouldn't eat
 half of a live bluegill...thinking my then
 seventeen girl guts could't do t, he was
 shocked when I bit the wriggling fish in half and
 swallowed half of it. I bought a knife with the
 You will be our leader,
 Sent naked pictures for RuneScape gold... not
 proud. 60m, fair deal though.
 Friend expelied a kidney stone. I ate it for 20
 I was at a beer festival and chugged from a
 dump bucket that everyone would dump their
 beer into after tasting it. My friend paid me $10
 bucks and some random guy tossed in another
 $5. All in all, I'd do it again.
 Same year some eccentric rich old lady
 pulled me aside at the restaurant I work
 at and asked me to be a waiter at her
 parisian style engagement party for her
 friend. She said I get $500. So I said
 sure. Arrived when she asked me to.
 Turns out she wanted to paint me gold
 glue on gold leaves to my body, and
 have me wear a gold thong, and only a
 gold thong. I did it. Got $500 bucks plus
 tons of tips from crazy ladies. And I only
 lost two points of dignity
 Worked retail.
These Ridiculous Stories Show Just How Far People Will Go To Make a Buck

These Ridiculous Stories Show Just How Far People Will Go To Make a Buck

Anime, Shit, and Sorry: A marble bust of Caligula restored > to its original colours. The colours were identified from particles trapped in the marble. thescienceofjohnlock: ten-and-donna: themarysue: humansofcolor: prokopetz: sarahtypeswords: wetorturedsomefolks: memejacker: several-talking-corpses: memejacker: caligula had anime eyes wait romans painted their marble sculptures it looks like a cheap theme park ride mascot yep here’s a statue of Augustus and here’s a reproduction of the statue with the colors restored  i honestly think that what we consider the height of sculpture in all of Western civilization being essentially the leftover templates of gaudy pieces of theme park shit to be evidence of the potential merit of found art “I tried coloring it and then I ruined it” And you know what the funniest part is? The paint didn’t just wear off over time. A bunch of asshole British historians back in the Victorian era actually went around scrubbing the remaining paint off of Greek and Roman statues - often destroying the fine details of the carving in the process - because the bright colours didn’t fit the dignified image they wished to present of the the cultures they claimed to be heirs to. This process also removed visible evidence of the fact that at least some of the statues thus stripped of paint had originally depicted non-white individuals. Whenever you look at a Roman statue with a bare marble face, you’re looking at the face of imperialist historical revisionism. (The missing noses on a lot of Egyptian statues are a similar deal. It’s not that the ancient Egyptians made statues with strangely fragile noses. Many Victorian archaeologists had a habit of chipping the noses off of the statues they brought back, then claiming that they’d found them that way - because with the noses intact, it was too obvious that the statues were meant to depict individuals of black African descent.) Sorry, I keep reblogging this over and over, the last comment is unbelievable. Wow. WUT Knowledge bomb! Many more fig leaves in strategic places appeared thanks to the Victorians too.
Anime, Shit, and Sorry: A marble bust of Caligula restored >
 to its original colours. The colours were
 identified from particles trapped in the
 marble.
thescienceofjohnlock:
ten-and-donna:

themarysue:

humansofcolor:

prokopetz:

sarahtypeswords:

wetorturedsomefolks:

memejacker:

several-talking-corpses:

memejacker:

caligula had anime eyes

wait romans painted their marble sculptures
it looks like a cheap theme park ride mascot

yep
here’s a statue of Augustus
and here’s a reproduction of the statue with the colors restored 

i honestly think that what we consider the height of sculpture in all of Western civilization being essentially the leftover templates of gaudy pieces of theme park shit to be evidence of the potential merit of found art

“I tried coloring it and then I ruined it”

And you know what the funniest part is? The paint didn’t just wear off over time. A bunch of asshole British historians back in the Victorian era actually went around scrubbing the remaining paint off of Greek and Roman statues - often destroying the fine details of the carving in the process - because the bright colours didn’t fit the dignified image they wished to present of the the cultures they claimed to be heirs to. This process also removed visible evidence of the fact that at least some of the statues thus stripped of paint had originally depicted non-white individuals.
Whenever you look at a Roman statue with a bare marble face, you’re looking at the face of imperialist historical revisionism.
(The missing noses on a lot of Egyptian statues are a similar deal. It’s not that the ancient Egyptians made statues with strangely fragile noses. Many Victorian archaeologists had a habit of chipping the noses off of the statues they brought back, then claiming that they’d found them that way - because with the noses intact, it was too obvious that the statues were meant to depict individuals of black African descent.)

Sorry, I keep reblogging this over and over, the last comment is unbelievable. Wow.

WUT


Knowledge bomb!


Many more fig leaves in strategic places appeared thanks to the Victorians too.

thescienceofjohnlock: ten-and-donna: themarysue: humansofcolor: prokopetz: sarahtypeswords: wetorturedsomefolks: memejacker: several-...

America, Anaconda, and Bernie Sanders: Bernie Sanders @SenSanders There's no state where a full-time minimum wage worker can afford a one-bedroom apartment at the fair market rent. That's unacceptable. 4/10/17, 3:51 PM 5,379 RETWEETS 14.2K LIKES pidgepitchu: strict-constitutionalist: constitutioncutie: Minimum wage: $7.25 $7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290 $290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160 In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven?  Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways. Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean; That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88.  Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2  = $839.  Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH. But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work.  Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money. Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying. You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America.  And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month.  Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line?
America, Anaconda, and Bernie Sanders: Bernie Sanders
 @SenSanders
 There's no state where a full-time
 minimum wage worker can afford a
 one-bedroom apartment at the fair
 market rent. That's unacceptable.
 4/10/17, 3:51 PM
 5,379 RETWEETS 14.2K LIKES
pidgepitchu:
strict-constitutionalist:

constitutioncutie:


Minimum wage: $7.25
$7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290
$290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160
In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven? 


Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways.

Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean;
That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88. 

 Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2  = $839. 
Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH.
But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work. 
Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money.
Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying.
You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America. 
And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month. 
Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line?

pidgepitchu: strict-constitutionalist: constitutioncutie: Minimum wage: $7.25 $7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290 $290 x 4 weeks pe...

America, Anaconda, and Bernie Sanders: Bernie Sanders @SenSanders There's no state where a full-time minimum wage worker can afford a one-bedroom apartment at the fair market rent. That's unacceptable. 4/10/17, 3:51 PM 5,379 RETWEETS 14.2K LIKES whyamilaughingatthis: pidgepitchu: strict-constitutionalist: constitutioncutie: Minimum wage: $7.25 $7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290 $290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160 In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven?  Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways. Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean; That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88.  Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2  = $839.  Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH. But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work.  Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money. Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying. You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America.  And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month.  Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line? Another issue. Location. Yeah you can get an apartment for rent at that price in certain states,  but go live off that minimum wage in New York. or California. Doesn’t work.
America, Anaconda, and Bernie Sanders: Bernie Sanders
 @SenSanders
 There's no state where a full-time
 minimum wage worker can afford a
 one-bedroom apartment at the fair
 market rent. That's unacceptable.
 4/10/17, 3:51 PM
 5,379 RETWEETS 14.2K LIKES
whyamilaughingatthis:
pidgepitchu:

strict-constitutionalist:

constitutioncutie:


Minimum wage: $7.25
$7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290
$290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160
In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven? 


Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways.

Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean;
That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88. 

 Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2  = $839. 
Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH.
But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work. 
Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money.
Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying.
You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America. 
And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month. 
Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line?

Another issue.
Location. Yeah you can get an apartment for rent at that price in certain states,  but go live off that minimum wage in New York. or California. Doesn’t work.

whyamilaughingatthis: pidgepitchu: strict-constitutionalist: constitutioncutie: Minimum wage: $7.25 $7.25 x 40 hour full time work week:...

Cats, Dogs, and Drake: OMING Stt my foot's totally stuck in tberenight, I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left vardaesque you don't understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn't eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher's house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it's a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn't find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway hen, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie l'd recommend, but before l could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda wheneverr throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed to go." Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn't stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I'd just shrug and say it was Josh's fault or something, but let's get reai nere, Mrs. Hayter wouia' ve Diamea me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it'd make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it'd be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer's dog, Tiberius starts freaking out bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot's totally stuck in there right, I'm freaking out the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left for iFunny) The story in Drake and Josh
Cats, Dogs, and Drake: OMING Stt
 my foot's totally stuck in tberenight, I'm freaking out,
 the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left
 vardaesque
 you don't understand i would sell
 my firstborn to know how this story
 started
 Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer
 wanted me to babysit her dumb house.
 When I got the keys, I sat them on top
 of this pie that I found on the counter. I
 knew it was going to be given to the
 family for desert if I didn't eat it soon, so
 I was going to plan to eat it in my
 teacher's house and dump all the
 crumbs on her bed. So it's a win-win,
 right? Besides, she wouldn't find out
 about the crumbs until after I was paid,
 and this teacher hates me anyway
 hen, I got distracted when this hot
 cheerleader calls me, asking about what
 movie l'd recommend, but before l
 could answer, I realize that my mom
 would be there any second to serve
 dinner, and there was no way I was
 sharing that pie. So I bust out of there
 with the pie and the keys, and the
 moment I get in the house, I start
 chowing down on the pie with my bare
 hands, trying to eat this thing before
 anyone knows I took it, right? Well,
 since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a
 2-liter bottle of soda wheneverr
 throat would get dry and eventually, I
 really needed to go." Only when I went
 to flush, the water wouldn't stop flowing
 and there was no plunger to be found.
 Usually I'd just shrug and say it was
 Josh's fault or something, but let's get
 reai nere, Mrs. Hayter wouia' ve Diamea
 me about her toilet overflowing if I was
 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in
 there, hoping it'd make the toilet stop
 flushing. Then my phone rings, and I
 knew it was my mom, asking where her
 pie went, and because Meghan decided
 it'd be a great idea to make my ring tone
 a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer's
 dog, Tiberius starts freaking out
 bashing into the door over and over
 again. Now anyone who knows this dog
 knows that this dog will happily eat
 anything, and that includes the pie, and
 probably myself. So my foot's totally
 stuck in there right, I'm freaking out
 the dog's having a seizure and I still
 got half a pie left
 for iFunny)
The story in Drake and Josh

The story in Drake and Josh

Desperate, Driving, and The Office: forind whasever it wwas that ancd engenough Hor patience, the smile whe has plastered on She talks o heswelf a lot Sikit he's Ascer.py ond yc," worst Adm to a" aw.ppy. She telas terveit Ο ime he neesds. Thst she will enceerage him to keep doing what he's tiven ir she doesn't know what the hell he in doing ter hands grip the Meering wheel. The an is jarring. almost blincling -a ietle too brilliant- as she fhes dows twe awoy. es a at rwo o'clock, and she', υσ ror the A whole week. An eternity if be sends her home in a few hours She has a few things in a bag. but she doesn't know if she will be staying or going. She has no idea what to expect Which works out just fine, beeause living wi r specialty of hers. She tells herself there is nothing ahead, but she doesn't eare too much about what she's left behind either and dhat means she's driving through the middle of some sort c She keeps driving. Eyes straight ahead. Breath tentatively held. The top is down on the Mustang, snd she lts the som poà agai she sits to get so seeping into her. Finally She chalks up her bare arms. The simple, blue jersey dress she wears comes to above her knees, and she has hiked it up as sun on her thighs. Her skin has been cold for so long, but right now the late June heat i lack of shivering to the weather and not to the fact that she is heading there. To him The wind whips her hair. It's longer than it had been when he'd last seen it. It falls just p past her shoulders, and even tugged iw messy ponytail right now, strands lash at her race. Her sunglasses are aviaom, and ier Si need it out here. Of course she won't, but she brings it anyways. Maybe it's just the most tangible she won't, but she hold ornto. She doesn't have much to hold onto these days. What she needs is the air. She is desperate for the thick, hot air that sinks into her. Her eyelids are heavy, lulled by the drive and the surprising lack of traffic The heat is relentless. It is everywh melted and the spring came, sh inside of her. Her gut is still cold. Frigid. Even after the snow Arsenio BahHambug @ArsenioB_Ham 4h Someone at my work (no way to know who) printed out a 300-page Law&Order: SVU fanfic on the office printer. 741.6K 2.6K
Desperate, Driving, and The Office: forind whasever it wwas that
 ancd engenough Hor patience, the smile whe has plastered on
 She talks o heswelf a lot
 Sikit he's Ascer.py ond yc," worst Adm to a" aw.ppy. She telas terveit Ο
 ime he neesds. Thst she will enceerage him to keep doing what he's
 tiven ir she doesn't know what the hell he in doing
 ter hands grip the Meering wheel. The an is jarring. almost
 blincling -a ietle too brilliant- as she fhes dows twe awoy. es a
 at rwo o'clock, and she', υσ ror the
 A whole week. An eternity if be sends her home
 in a few hours
 She has a few things in a bag. but she doesn't know
 if she will be staying or going. She has no idea what to expect
 Which works out just fine, beeause living wi
 r specialty of hers.
 She tells herself there is nothing ahead, but
 she doesn't eare too much about what she's left behind either
 and dhat means
 she's driving through the middle of some sort c
 She keeps driving. Eyes straight ahead. Breath tentatively held. The top is down on the Mustang,
 snd she lts the som poà agai
 she sits to get so
 seeping into her. Finally She chalks up
 her bare arms. The simple, blue jersey dress she wears comes to
 above her knees, and she has hiked it up as
 sun on her thighs. Her skin has been cold for so long, but right now the late June heat i
 lack of shivering to the weather and not to the fact that she is heading there. To him
 The wind whips her hair. It's longer than it had been when he'd last seen it. It falls just p
 past her shoulders, and even tugged iw
 messy ponytail right now, strands lash at her race. Her sunglasses are aviaom, and ier Si
 need it out here. Of course she won't, but she brings it anyways. Maybe it's just the most tangible
 she won't, but she
 hold ornto.
 She doesn't have much to hold onto these days.
 What she needs is the air. She is desperate for the thick, hot air that sinks into her. Her eyelids are heavy, lulled by the
 drive and the surprising lack of traffic
 The heat is relentless.
 It is everywh
 melted and the spring
 came, sh
 inside of her. Her gut is still cold. Frigid. Even after the snow
 Arsenio BahHambug @ArsenioB_Ham 4h
 Someone at my work (no way to know who) printed out a 300-page
 Law&Order: SVU fanfic on the office printer.
 741.6K 2.6K