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Patti
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bacon bits: awesomacious: As soon as bacon bits that pan…
bacon bits: awesomacious:

As soon as bacon bits that pan…

awesomacious: As soon as bacon bits that pan…

bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan…
bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan…

As soon as bacon bits that pan…

bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan… by thebreadthieves MORE MEMES
bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan… by thebreadthieves
MORE MEMES

As soon as bacon bits that pan… by thebreadthieves MORE MEMES

bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan…
bacon bits: As soon as bacon bits that pan…

As soon as bacon bits that pan…

bacon bits: reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny
bacon bits: reddit
 Hello,
 A few months ago l captured an American
 Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my
 apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota
 ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a
 month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda
 poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe
 this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed
 ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to
 capture that roach and I made him my pet. I
 name him Big Alan
 I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also
 take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to
 him, etc.
 Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3
 dates, and before this new date my last prior
 date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of
 course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this
 new date
 I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I
 have him with me. He is like a good luck charm
 of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l
 know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may
 seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug

 So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt
 pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would
 have a good meal and he would be distracted b
 that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work
 exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan
 has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a
 cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some
 point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his
 bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out
 of my pocket.
 Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did
 not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just
 my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to
 show her. Well let me tell you she did react very
 oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone
 turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and
 just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to
 explain to everyone he is just my pet.
 Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing
 and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be
 honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran.

 Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all
 of this. I have resolved I will not do any more
 dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had
 not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the
 deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I
 know this is unfair. But it's how I feel.
tripropellant:

mysteryho:

yeezusplease:

big alan did nothing wrong

i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story


this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personalit...

bacon bits: ULTIMATE FOOD REPUBLIC HOT DOG STYLE GUIDE SONORA SEATTLE NEW YORK Bratwurst, cream cheese aliced raw jolapeños, chopped cabboge, srirache Bacon-wrapped hot dog, split soft roll, relish, tomatoes, onions avocado chunks, mayonnaise Hot dog in e bun, mustard, sauerkraut, onion sauce TIJUANA "DOYER" DOG Footlong dog in o footlong bun, mustard, nacho cheese, pickled jolapenos, salsG DODGER DOG Footlong dog in a footlong bun, ketchup, mustard, chopped onions, relish Bacon-wrapped hot dog. grilled sliced peppers, onions, jalapeños, squishy white bun COLOMBIA Hot dog in a bun, ketchup stord, mayo,, pineapple, crushed potateo chips, beiled quail egg speared on top KOREA JAPAN Corn dog coated with crinkle-cut fries ond fried on a stick, ketchup Hot dog sliced to look like on octopus, fried and served as part of bento box GERMANY Fronkfurter, sauerkraut, potate salad, mustard (no bun) CAROLINA Hot dog in a bun with chili, chopped onions and cole slaw MONTREAL "All-Dressed: New England-style bun, seomed hot dog, mustard, chopped onio and cabbage ITALIAN Deep-fried hot dog in an Italian roll, bell peppers, onions, French fries, ketchup, mustard CONEY Short hott dog in a short bun with chili, chopped onions and a pile of finely shredded cheddar MICHIGAN Hot dog in a bun, tomato-besed meat chili sauce, mustard CHICAGO KANSAS CITY BAGEL DOG Het dog, peppy seed bun, pickle Hot dog wrapped in everything speor, celery salt, tomatoes, whole bagel dough, baked and served pickled peppers, chopped onions, with mustard neon green relish, mustard Hot dog in o sesame seed bun, souerkraut, melted Swiss cheese POTATO DOG Hot dog in a bun, fried potatoes, peppers, onions, musfard BRAZIL CHILE Hot dog in a bun with chepped tomotoes, souerkraut, mashed avocodo, mayonnaise Hot doa in a selit roll, pico de gallo, cern, grated parmesan, shredded carrats, diced ham cilantre, sheestring fries PHILIPPINES GUATEMALA DENMARK Long hot dog in a bun, pickle chips, remoulade, ketchup. mustard, fried onions, chopped onions Baconwropped hot dog in on ovocodo coated corn tortillo, shredded lettuce, cobboge, mayonnaise, chopped onions Bright red notched dog served with banona ketchup, rice, fried egg (no bun) SWEDEN Hot dog surrounded by mashed potatoes, shrimp salad, lettuce and fried onions rolled into a wrap CZECH REPUBLIC BALTIMORE Hot deg in a roll with hole punched through it lengthwise coated in ketchup and mustard Fried bologne wrapped around a fried hat dog with mustard in squishy bun IDAHO DENVER HAWAII Hot dog in a baked potato, topped with bacon bits, chives, sour eream Hot dog in a bun, chopped red onion, green chile sevce, sour ereom, chopped jalapenos Howalion sweet bread roll with a hole punched threugh it, hot deg, ketchup, mustard, fruit souces PERU МЕМРHIS NORWAY Baceswropped hot dog in o bun, borbecve souce, chopped scallions, shredded cheddar Long hot deg wrapped in a large toosted tortilla or latbread, ketchup, mustard Sliced hot dog, fried, served with fries, ketchup, mustard, meyo (no bun) GEORGIA FRANCE Open hot dog bun, aliced hot dog, cheese, chil, chopped onions, sliced pickles, oyster crockers, ketchup, mustard Long hot dog in o baguette, covered in shredded Gruykre, then broiled CHINA Hot dog wrapped in a dumpling Chorizo link in a soft hero roll like dough, sprinkled with sesome seeds and baked ARGENTINA VIETNAM Long sausage in a french roll slethered with chimichurri and a with julienned pickled vegetables pickled red onion/tomato mix AMSTERDAM Long hot dog in a ben, covered in pizza souce and mozzorella cheese, then broiled CLEVELAND Kielbasa in a bun, French fries, hot souce, cole slaw Need A Different Style For Your Hot Dogs?
bacon bits: ULTIMATE
 FOOD
 REPUBLIC
 HOT DOG STYLE GUIDE
 SONORA
 SEATTLE
 NEW YORK
 Bratwurst, cream cheese
 aliced raw jolapeños, chopped
 cabboge, srirache
 Bacon-wrapped hot dog, split soft
 roll, relish, tomatoes, onions
 avocado chunks, mayonnaise
 Hot dog in e bun, mustard,
 sauerkraut, onion sauce
 TIJUANA
 "DOYER" DOG
 Footlong dog in o footlong bun,
 mustard, nacho cheese, pickled
 jolapenos, salsG
 DODGER DOG
 Footlong dog in a footlong
 bun, ketchup, mustard,
 chopped onions, relish
 Bacon-wrapped hot dog.
 grilled sliced peppers, onions,
 jalapeños, squishy white bun
 COLOMBIA
 Hot dog in a bun, ketchup
 stord, mayo,, pineapple,
 crushed potateo chips, beiled
 quail egg speared on top
 KOREA
 JAPAN
 Corn dog coated with
 crinkle-cut fries ond
 fried on a stick, ketchup
 Hot dog sliced to look like on
 octopus, fried and served as
 part of bento box
 GERMANY
 Fronkfurter, sauerkraut, potate
 salad, mustard (no bun)
 CAROLINA
 Hot dog in a bun with chili,
 chopped onions and cole slaw
 MONTREAL
 "All-Dressed: New England-style bun,
 seomed hot dog, mustard, chopped
 onio and cabbage
 ITALIAN
 Deep-fried hot dog in an Italian
 roll, bell peppers, onions,
 French fries, ketchup, mustard
 CONEY
 Short hott dog in a short bun with
 chili, chopped onions and a pile
 of finely shredded cheddar
 MICHIGAN
 Hot dog in a bun, tomato-besed
 meat chili sauce, mustard
 CHICAGO
 KANSAS CITY
 BAGEL DOG
 Het dog, peppy seed bun, pickle Hot dog wrapped in everything
 speor, celery salt, tomatoes, whole bagel dough, baked and served
 pickled peppers, chopped onions, with mustard
 neon green relish, mustard
 Hot dog in o sesame seed bun,
 souerkraut, melted Swiss cheese
 POTATO DOG
 Hot dog in a bun, fried
 potatoes, peppers,
 onions, musfard
 BRAZIL
 CHILE
 Hot dog in a bun with chepped
 tomotoes, souerkraut, mashed
 avocodo, mayonnaise
 Hot doa in a selit roll, pico de
 gallo, cern, grated parmesan,
 shredded carrats, diced ham
 cilantre, sheestring fries
 PHILIPPINES
 GUATEMALA
 DENMARK
 Long hot dog in a bun, pickle
 chips, remoulade, ketchup.
 mustard, fried onions,
 chopped onions
 Baconwropped hot dog in on
 ovocodo coated corn tortillo,
 shredded lettuce, cobboge,
 mayonnaise, chopped onions
 Bright red notched dog served
 with banona ketchup, rice,
 fried egg (no bun)
 SWEDEN
 Hot dog surrounded by
 mashed potatoes, shrimp
 salad, lettuce and fried
 onions rolled into a wrap
 CZECH REPUBLIC BALTIMORE
 Hot deg in a roll with hole
 punched through it lengthwise
 coated in ketchup and mustard
 Fried bologne wrapped around
 a fried hat dog with mustard in
 squishy bun
 IDAHO
 DENVER
 HAWAII
 Hot dog in a baked potato,
 topped with bacon bits,
 chives, sour eream
 Hot dog in a bun, chopped red
 onion, green chile sevce, sour
 ereom, chopped jalapenos
 Howalion sweet bread roll with a hole
 punched threugh it, hot deg, ketchup,
 mustard, fruit souces
 PERU
 МЕМРHIS
 NORWAY
 Baceswropped hot dog in o
 bun, borbecve souce, chopped
 scallions, shredded cheddar
 Long hot deg wrapped in a
 large toosted tortilla or
 latbread, ketchup, mustard
 Sliced hot dog, fried, served with
 fries, ketchup, mustard, meyo (no bun)
 GEORGIA
 FRANCE
 Open hot dog bun, aliced hot dog, cheese,
 chil, chopped onions, sliced pickles, oyster
 crockers, ketchup, mustard
 Long hot dog in o baguette, covered in
 shredded Gruykre, then broiled
 CHINA
 Hot dog wrapped in a dumpling Chorizo link in a soft hero roll
 like dough, sprinkled with
 sesome seeds and baked
 ARGENTINA
 VIETNAM
 Long sausage in a french roll
 slethered with chimichurri and a with julienned pickled
 vegetables
 pickled red onion/tomato mix
 AMSTERDAM
 Long hot dog in a ben, covered in pizza
 souce and mozzorella cheese, then broiled
 CLEVELAND
 Kielbasa in a bun, French fries, hot souce, cole slaw
Need A Different Style For Your Hot Dogs?

Need A Different Style For Your Hot Dogs?

bacon bits: reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. leonlghts: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story @tytoalbion
bacon bits: reddit
 Hello,
 A few months ago l captured an American
 Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my
 apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota
 ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a
 month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda
 poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe
 this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed
 ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to
 capture that roach and I made him my pet. I
 name him Big Alan
 I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also
 take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to
 him, etc.
 Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3
 dates, and before this new date my last prior
 date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of
 course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this
 new date
 I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I
 have him with me. He is like a good luck charm
 of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l
 know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may
 seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug

 So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt
 pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would
 have a good meal and he would be distracted b
 that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work
 exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan
 has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a
 cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some
 point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his
 bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out
 of my pocket.
 Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did
 not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just
 my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to
 show her. Well let me tell you she did react very
 oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone
 turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and
 just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to
 explain to everyone he is just my pet.
 Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing
 and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be
 honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran.

 Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all
 of this. I have resolved I will not do any more
 dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had
 not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the
 deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I
 know this is unfair. But it's how I feel.
leonlghts:

mysteryho:

yeezusplease:

big alan did nothing wrong

i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story


@tytoalbion

leonlghts: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality te...