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🔥 | Latest

Af, Ass, and Aww: r/aww u/Babykins9.1d . i.redd.it She's only been here five days but she's completely melted my heart @DrSmashlove I see that stolen-appropriated clothing is encouraging just as much excitement as the hygiene discussion 😁. One of my lil homegirls text me: “I legit gave basketball shorts to a guy the other night 🙈. IT WASNT AN EX BOYFRIENDS THO. IT WAS FROM HIGH SCHOOL HE WAS JUST A FRIEND. I BORROWED THEM FOR "OPPOSITE SEX" DAY 😂😂”. Men y’all be careful now. U ain’t een gotta date a girl for her to steal yo sh!t! It could be a friend! I’m starting to notice that in addition to savagery, u women got kleptomania in yo blood...finna start locking up all my belongings whenever ANY woman enter my crib...even my sisters...Smash ain’t taking no chances - I love my lil sister but come to think of it she was eyeing my VitaMix a lil too hard last time she slid thru my spot 🤔 - baby u hella dear to me but u gotta get yo own VitaMix 🤗😂. Now then, on my last post, one of my followers said: “it’s just a pair of shorts they’re clean shut up and put them on...but you will not sit on my couch bare ass!!😒” Hold up 🤔. Hol...TF up. We not suppose to do that? Like that’s rude? Bruv. I ain’t been living right 😂. Brother like me, after laying pipe? I sit ALL on the damn couch...or any other surface for that matter. Matter fact I walk around her whole apartment room to room like a cot damn king. Like Borat Said bruv “king in de castle, king in de castle ☺️”. U feel me? I just skretched the lil Nani out bruv? Gave it a workout? Lil Punani CrossFit bruv? PunaniFit® lol? I’m king in de castle now. But all this time I’m suppose to wear another man’s b-ball Shorts so as not to leave my NutPrint®? Woman. I’m Hygienic af. Ain no NutPrint® gwan over here. But even if I DID leave such a print, u gon get this NutPrint®. I’m a dawg. And a dawg always gon leave his mark. U don’t get one without the other. If dating women means we gon ‘lose’ our favorite garments, u gotta deal with the fact that u gon get this NutPrint®. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
Af, Ass, and Aww: r/aww
 u/Babykins9.1d . i.redd.it
 She's only been here five days but she's
 completely melted my heart
 @DrSmashlove
I see that stolen-appropriated clothing is encouraging just as much excitement as the hygiene discussion 😁. One of my lil homegirls text me: “I legit gave basketball shorts to a guy the other night 🙈. IT WASNT AN EX BOYFRIENDS THO. IT WAS FROM HIGH SCHOOL HE WAS JUST A FRIEND. I BORROWED THEM FOR "OPPOSITE SEX" DAY 😂😂”. Men y’all be careful now. U ain’t een gotta date a girl for her to steal yo sh!t! It could be a friend! I’m starting to notice that in addition to savagery, u women got kleptomania in yo blood...finna start locking up all my belongings whenever ANY woman enter my crib...even my sisters...Smash ain’t taking no chances - I love my lil sister but come to think of it she was eyeing my VitaMix a lil too hard last time she slid thru my spot 🤔 - baby u hella dear to me but u gotta get yo own VitaMix 🤗😂. Now then, on my last post, one of my followers said: “it’s just a pair of shorts they’re clean shut up and put them on...but you will not sit on my couch bare ass!!😒” Hold up 🤔. Hol...TF up. We not suppose to do that? Like that’s rude? Bruv. I ain’t been living right 😂. Brother like me, after laying pipe? I sit ALL on the damn couch...or any other surface for that matter. Matter fact I walk around her whole apartment room to room like a cot damn king. Like Borat Said bruv “king in de castle, king in de castle ☺️”. U feel me? I just skretched the lil Nani out bruv? Gave it a workout? Lil Punani CrossFit bruv? PunaniFit® lol? I’m king in de castle now. But all this time I’m suppose to wear another man’s b-ball Shorts so as not to leave my NutPrint®? Woman. I’m Hygienic af. Ain no NutPrint® gwan over here. But even if I DID leave such a print, u gon get this NutPrint®. I’m a dawg. And a dawg always gon leave his mark. U don’t get one without the other. If dating women means we gon ‘lose’ our favorite garments, u gotta deal with the fact that u gon get this NutPrint®. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

I see that stolen-appropriated clothing is encouraging just as much excitement as the hygiene discussion 😁. One of my lil homegirls text me:...

Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it This little guy followed me home and then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I have a dog now @DrSmashlove See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂
Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww
 u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it
 This little guy followed me home and
 then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I
 have a dog now
 @DrSmashlove
See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂

See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan ...

Aww, Bad, and Be Like: r/aww u/highimallaudin 2d i.redd.it My buddies steering wheel dog sleeping on the Mule @DrSmashlove So I started watching this show Ozarks on the stairmaster and in the first episode we learn that the wife, an olderish white woman, is having an affair. What’s the nickname she calls her side piece? “Sugarwood.” BRUV 😂. I’m done. I’m physically, mentally, emotionally done. “Daddy” is over. It’s cancelled. From now on u if u deal with me u gotta call me “Honeysuckle PP”. U feel me? Imma need more effort put into it. These older ladies making y’all look bad. Don’t be calling yo man “daddy” and then u grab his phone and find out some cougar calling him “Agave Papi” u gon have to re-evaluate yo whole life u thought shit was sweet now u found out Susan who is twice-divorced and live six floors above u giving yo man lovey dovey names and shit. “Mango Mamba”. U feel me? Susan gon be saucy about it too. She gon see u in the mailroom like “Hi Beth! Where was Steven last night?” And U gon be like “ummmm...CrossFit, then he came home to me, why?” And Susan gon eye u up and giggle like “no sweetie Steven was in my apartment bending me over my Restoration Hardeare sectional. FYI. And btw my man loves it when I call him Mango Mamba. Sorry hehe. OUR man. Toodles 🤗. Cmon Charlie...” and Charlie the poodle gon just look at u and grin like “she ain’t lyin, I seent the whole thing - please don’t make me answer for Susan, she crazy - but low key u coulda gave yo man a cuter nickname JUST SAYIN. ARF...HEH HEH!!” YOUNG LADIES, THESE OLDER WOMEN COMING FOR U. YALL GON HAVE TO BE MORE POETIC. STEP UP YO NICKNAME GAME IMMEEJALLY. IMMA LEAVE YALL WITH THAT. Y’all been warned 🤗. BLESS UP 😂😂😂
Aww, Bad, and Be Like: r/aww
 u/highimallaudin 2d i.redd.it
 My buddies
 steering wheel
 dog sleeping on the Mule
 @DrSmashlove
So I started watching this show Ozarks on the stairmaster and in the first episode we learn that the wife, an olderish white woman, is having an affair. What’s the nickname she calls her side piece? “Sugarwood.” BRUV 😂. I’m done. I’m physically, mentally, emotionally done. “Daddy” is over. It’s cancelled. From now on u if u deal with me u gotta call me “Honeysuckle PP”. U feel me? Imma need more effort put into it. These older ladies making y’all look bad. Don’t be calling yo man “daddy” and then u grab his phone and find out some cougar calling him “Agave Papi” u gon have to re-evaluate yo whole life u thought shit was sweet now u found out Susan who is twice-divorced and live six floors above u giving yo man lovey dovey names and shit. “Mango Mamba”. U feel me? Susan gon be saucy about it too. She gon see u in the mailroom like “Hi Beth! Where was Steven last night?” And U gon be like “ummmm...CrossFit, then he came home to me, why?” And Susan gon eye u up and giggle like “no sweetie Steven was in my apartment bending me over my Restoration Hardeare sectional. FYI. And btw my man loves it when I call him Mango Mamba. Sorry hehe. OUR man. Toodles 🤗. Cmon Charlie...” and Charlie the poodle gon just look at u and grin like “she ain’t lyin, I seent the whole thing - please don’t make me answer for Susan, she crazy - but low key u coulda gave yo man a cuter nickname JUST SAYIN. ARF...HEH HEH!!” YOUNG LADIES, THESE OLDER WOMEN COMING FOR U. YALL GON HAVE TO BE MORE POETIC. STEP UP YO NICKNAME GAME IMMEEJALLY. IMMA LEAVE YALL WITH THAT. Y’all been warned 🤗. BLESS UP 😂😂😂

So I started watching this show Ozarks on the stairmaster and in the first episode we learn that the wife, an olderish white woman, is havin...

Aww, Bad, and Bless Up: r/aww u/bad_girlz ld imgur 150 Pound French Mastiff gets a kiss from a 6 pound Chihuahua Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a dude's place for a wake up call and he knew I was coming. Pulled that skin back, and there was literally sh!t the consistency of- *BAM*. The smell hit and I started heaving and had to run to the bathroom. He had the nerve to try to clean himself, but the smell was either permeating his room or stuck in my nostrils\lungs\long-term memory. He took me to Olive Garden (because pasta and breadsticks usually makes me forget everything), but I saw some white sauce and started heaving at the table. Like, the drools started bruh. I think it was literally the last time we attempted $ex and our fvckship ended soon after. He's somewhere with no job and live with a brother at 41 years of age. His life could have been worth more if he cleaned himself that morning.” Ok. Hol up. Lemme just...lemme catch my breath...and...lemme...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA FVCK. 😂 NAW. NAW NAW NAW 😂. As basic Caucasian women say: “literally dead”. As the big homie Popiando would say, “deadass b. The Deadest of Asses.” I read this and my soul exited my body. Literally I exhaled my last breath and my soul said “bish I’m meeting God now” and my soul got to the gates of Heaven and Gabriel said“WHO IS YOUR LORD!” and I tried to say “there is no deity except God” and instead I opened my mouth and said “the ting goes SCREEEE RA PAT PAT PAT PAK CAC CA” and Gabriel flung me into Hell Bruh. Deceased. Let’s recount: (1) PP smelled like a Funeral Home and Crematorium for roadkill skunks. (2) Even the finest of middle class fancy dinners could not repair the damage. (3) After this incident, his entire life crumbled and he is now not only stinky but homeless, depressed, unemployed and desperate. I’m still dead. I still haven’t recovered. Y’all out here stroking my ego saying I’m funny...THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. MEN: DOVE SOAP. WARM WATER. YALL OUT HERE ALTERING THE ENTIRE TRAJECTORY OF YA LIFE OFF YA PP SMELL. SHOWER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. YALL BEEN WARNED 🤗 (credit the genius @tamashar - Big Sis! U murdered me 😂 bless up 😂😂😂)
Aww, Bad, and Bless Up: r/aww
 u/bad_girlz ld imgur
 150 Pound French Mastiff gets a kiss
 from a 6 pound Chihuahua
Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a dude's place for a wake up call and he knew I was coming. Pulled that skin back, and there was literally sh!t the consistency of- *BAM*. The smell hit and I started heaving and had to run to the bathroom. He had the nerve to try to clean himself, but the smell was either permeating his room or stuck in my nostrils\lungs\long-term memory. He took me to Olive Garden (because pasta and breadsticks usually makes me forget everything), but I saw some white sauce and started heaving at the table. Like, the drools started bruh. I think it was literally the last time we attempted $ex and our fvckship ended soon after. He's somewhere with no job and live with a brother at 41 years of age. His life could have been worth more if he cleaned himself that morning.” Ok. Hol up. Lemme just...lemme catch my breath...and...lemme...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA FVCK. 😂 NAW. NAW NAW NAW 😂. As basic Caucasian women say: “literally dead”. As the big homie Popiando would say, “deadass b. The Deadest of Asses.” I read this and my soul exited my body. Literally I exhaled my last breath and my soul said “bish I’m meeting God now” and my soul got to the gates of Heaven and Gabriel said“WHO IS YOUR LORD!” and I tried to say “there is no deity except God” and instead I opened my mouth and said “the ting goes SCREEEE RA PAT PAT PAT PAK CAC CA” and Gabriel flung me into Hell Bruh. Deceased. Let’s recount: (1) PP smelled like a Funeral Home and Crematorium for roadkill skunks. (2) Even the finest of middle class fancy dinners could not repair the damage. (3) After this incident, his entire life crumbled and he is now not only stinky but homeless, depressed, unemployed and desperate. I’m still dead. I still haven’t recovered. Y’all out here stroking my ego saying I’m funny...THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. MEN: DOVE SOAP. WARM WATER. YALL OUT HERE ALTERING THE ENTIRE TRAJECTORY OF YA LIFE OFF YA PP SMELL. SHOWER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. YALL BEEN WARNED 🤗 (credit the genius @tamashar - Big Sis! U murdered me 😂 bless up 😂😂😂)

Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a...