Afraid To Ask
Afraid To Ask

Afraid To Ask

Cares
Cares

Cares

Points
Points

Points

Gordon
Gordon

Gordon

Much Love
Much Love

Much Love

Blowjobing
Blowjobing

Blowjobing

Distracte
Distracte

Distracte

I Swear To God
I Swear To God

I Swear To God

chairs
chairs

chairs

point
point

point

πŸ”₯ | Latest

Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CAN...

Children, Cute, and Facts: pervocracy child handling for the childless urse My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a young" patient is 40 years old. Here's my impressions so far Birth 1 year: Essentially a smail cute animal. Handle accordingly, gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation Age 1-2: Hates you. Hates you so much. You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe they hate you anyway, because you're a stranger and you're scary and you're touching them. There's no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible Age 3-5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe. Easily upset but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them. Smartphone cartoons and who wants a stickerrl1?1? are key management techniques Age 6 10: Really cool, actually. I did not realize kids were this cool. Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn. Absolutely do not babytalk, instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with hey, you want to see something really cool?" Age 11 14: Extremely variable. Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other. At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just... a really sensitive and unpredictable adult Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers. (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.) Age 15-18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience. Treat as an adult who needs a littie extra education with their care. Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there. At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they'll probably think it's funny And they'll want one. Deep down, everyone wants a sticker nurse unlocks secret to raising kids
Children, Cute, and Facts: pervocracy
 child handling for the childless
 urse
 My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after
 years in environments where a young" patient is 40 years old. Here's my
 impressions so far
 Birth 1 year: Essentially a smail cute animal. Handle accordingly, gently and
 affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation
 of cooperation
 Age 1-2: Hates you. Hates you so much. You can smile, you can coo, you can
 attempt to soothe they hate you anyway, because you're a stranger and you're
 scary and you're touching them. There's no winning this so just get it over with
 as quickly and non-traumatically as possible
 Age 3-5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe. Easily upset
 but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them. Smartphone cartoons
 and who wants a stickerrl1?1? are key management techniques
 Age 6 10: Really cool, actually. I did not realize kids were this cool. Around
 this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.
 Absolutely do not babytalk, instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are
 teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening
 experiences with hey, you want to see something really cool?"
 Age 11 14: Extremely variable. Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly
 switch from one mode to the other. At this point you can almost treat them as an
 adult, just... a really sensitive and unpredictable adult Do not, under any
 circumstances, offer stickers. (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)
 Age 15-18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience. Treat as an
 adult who needs a littie extra education with their care. Keep parents out of the
 room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there. At this point you
 can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they'll probably think it's funny
 And they'll want one. Deep down, everyone wants a sticker
nurse unlocks secret to raising kids

nurse unlocks secret to raising kids

Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not Γ€ke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered
 into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be
 escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity
 snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into
 action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is
 a gigantic king a""hole
 Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k
 away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he
 could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let
 me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like
 terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn
 Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not Γ€ke Frank was
 gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just
 about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the
 f'k down Jesus Frank
 Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and
 getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he
 is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp
 Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting
 like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this
 point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric
 asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong
 WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK
 Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole
 ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De
 Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit
 easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot
 Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled
 dickweed
 Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire
 town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with
 care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN
 YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Meet Frank The Turtle

awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle

Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not Γ€ke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
Ass, Community, and God: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered
 into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be
 escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity
 snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into
 action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is
 a gigantic king a""hole
 Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k
 away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he
 could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let
 me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like
 terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn
 Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not Γ€ke Frank was
 gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just
 about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the
 f'k down Jesus Frank
 Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and
 getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he
 is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp
 Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting
 like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this
 point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric
 asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong
 WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK
 Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole
 ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De
 Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit
 easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot
 Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled
 dickweed
 Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire
 town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with
 care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN
 YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Meet Frank The Turtle

awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle