Apple Store


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Appling
        

            
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Appling

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Every
        

            
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Every

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        The
        

            
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The

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Love My Job
        

            
            Love My Job
        

    

    

         
Love My Job

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Jetpacking
        

            
            Jetpacking
        

    

    

         
Jetpacking

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        One Upping
        

            
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One Upping

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         i love my job
        

            
             i love my job
        

    

    

         
 i love my job

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         joel
        

            
             joel
        

    

    

         
 joel

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         don't leave
        

            
             don't leave
        

    

    

         
 don't leave

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        daniels
        

            
            daniels
        

    

    

         
daniels

    



                
            

        

    
    

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    Apple Store: Apple Store workers be like "You
 tried turning it on & off?"
clean cleanfunny cleanhilarious cleanposts cleanpictures cleanaccount funny funnyaccount funnypictures funnyposts funnyclean funnyhilarious
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple Store: Apple Store workers be like "You
 tried turning it on & off?"
clean cleanfunny cleanhilarious cleanposts cleanpictures cleanaccount funny funnyaccount funnypictures funnyposts funnyclean funnyhilarious
                
            

            
            
clean cleanfunny cleanhilarious cleanposts cleanpictures cleanaccount funny funnyaccount funnypictures funnyposts funnyclean funnyhilarious

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Apple Store: od-kahane-chai
 The goddamn Apple Store is so fucking trendy these motherfuckers don't even use cash registers anymore.
 Like holy shit why would I ever want to wait in line to pay for my immensely overpriced lightning bolt-to-usb
 cable, when l can wander around aimlessly looking for the one bearded top knot in the grey shirt who happens
 to have a card reader attached to his free iPhone 6? Literally fucking walked up a dude and was like 'Yo
 where's the till?' And guy looks at me straight in the fucking face and says, 'Oh well, there should be one or
 two people walking around on either side of the store who can process your payment.' ALL OF YOU DRESS
 EXACTLY THE SAME! Am I supposed to accost every single goddamn one of you until I finally find the one
 goddamn fucking anthropomorphisized Mac Computer who is willing to let me pay for this shit? And when I
 finally find the dude and let him tap his shit against the box that l'm trying to purchase, of course he gives me
 the smuggest fucking smile l've ever seen on a human face and asks, 'Would you like to use Apple Pay?' Like
 GOOD LORD can we please just take a step outside of your möbius fucking circle jerk and let me hand you
 fifteen pounds in cash? Cash money? Real fucking physical fucking tender? No it's okay, I don't need a fucking
 receipt What, you mean you're going to print me a real receipt? A physical receipt that I can carry in my
 pocket? You're not gonna beam it to my fucking wrist? You're not going to send it via dropbox to an
 undisclosed fucking IP Address where I have to complete a CAPTCHA and accept your terms and conditions for
 the one millionth time in order to check that, yes, I did just spend £20 pounds and 45 minutes on a thin wire
 made of plastic and metal that's gonna break in a month anyway? 1 JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PLANET
 ANYMORE
The future, its not for everyone
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple Store: od-kahane-chai
 The goddamn Apple Store is so fucking trendy these motherfuckers don't even use cash registers anymore.
 Like holy shit why would I ever want to wait in line to pay for my immensely overpriced lightning bolt-to-usb
 cable, when l can wander around aimlessly looking for the one bearded top knot in the grey shirt who happens
 to have a card reader attached to his free iPhone 6? Literally fucking walked up a dude and was like 'Yo
 where's the till?' And guy looks at me straight in the fucking face and says, 'Oh well, there should be one or
 two people walking around on either side of the store who can process your payment.' ALL OF YOU DRESS
 EXACTLY THE SAME! Am I supposed to accost every single goddamn one of you until I finally find the one
 goddamn fucking anthropomorphisized Mac Computer who is willing to let me pay for this shit? And when I
 finally find the dude and let him tap his shit against the box that l'm trying to purchase, of course he gives me
 the smuggest fucking smile l've ever seen on a human face and asks, 'Would you like to use Apple Pay?' Like
 GOOD LORD can we please just take a step outside of your möbius fucking circle jerk and let me hand you
 fifteen pounds in cash? Cash money? Real fucking physical fucking tender? No it's okay, I don't need a fucking
 receipt What, you mean you're going to print me a real receipt? A physical receipt that I can carry in my
 pocket? You're not gonna beam it to my fucking wrist? You're not going to send it via dropbox to an
 undisclosed fucking IP Address where I have to complete a CAPTCHA and accept your terms and conditions for
 the one millionth time in order to check that, yes, I did just spend £20 pounds and 45 minutes on a thin wire
 made of plastic and metal that's gonna break in a month anyway? 1 JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PLANET
 ANYMORE
The future, its not for everyone
                
            

            
            
The future, its not for everyone

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Apple Store: When you're about to go hijack a
 plane but your mom says you have to
 finish your chores
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little conformist bitch? I'll have you know I graduated by the skin of my teeth in all my courses in community college and I've been making fucking pottery for my whole life and I listen to underground only music. I am trained in whining and I'm the top douchebag in Starbucks. You are nothing to be but a fucking conformist. I will wipe you the fuck out with shit so underground it's in China, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying this shit to me over a fucking conformist site like Facebook? Think again, copy. As we speak I'm contacting my manager at Barnes and Noble and he's got connections with every Apple store manager this side of the Mississippi, and your IP address is being traced so you better prepare for man slaps you little maggot. The man slaps that will knock you on your ass. You're fucking dead, conformist. I can get in my Prius and be anywhere in a matter of hours, anytime and I can berate you in 700 ways, and that's just in English. Not only am I able to speak languages no one else speaks, but I have access to your Twitter account and I will use it to its full extent to wipe out all your followers you little mainstream junkie. If only you could know what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon yo, maybe would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the full price you goddamn mainstream loving bastard. I will shit classic literature all over you, and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, conformist.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple Store: When you're about to go hijack a
 plane but your mom says you have to
 finish your chores
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little conformist bitch? I'll have you know I graduated by the skin of my teeth in all my courses in community college and I've been making fucking pottery for my whole life and I listen to underground only music. I am trained in whining and I'm the top douchebag in Starbucks. You are nothing to be but a fucking conformist. I will wipe you the fuck out with shit so underground it's in China, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying this shit to me over a fucking conformist site like Facebook? Think again, copy. As we speak I'm contacting my manager at Barnes and Noble and he's got connections with every Apple store manager this side of the Mississippi, and your IP address is being traced so you better prepare for man slaps you little maggot. The man slaps that will knock you on your ass. You're fucking dead, conformist. I can get in my Prius and be anywhere in a matter of hours, anytime and I can berate you in 700 ways, and that's just in English. Not only am I able to speak languages no one else speaks, but I have access to your Twitter account and I will use it to its full extent to wipe out all your followers you little mainstream junkie. If only you could know what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon yo, maybe would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the full price you goddamn mainstream loving bastard. I will shit classic literature all over you, and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, conformist.
                
            

            
            
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little conformist bitch? I'll have you know I graduated by the skin of my teeth in al...