Alexander the Great


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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    Alexander the Great: CW CNN
 @CNN
 Follow
 European colonizers killed so many Native
 Americans that it changed the global climate,
 researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1C
 8:00 PM -2 Feb 2019
 924 Retweets 1,321 Likes
 SULLDHONHS

 Sophia Chang
 Follow
 @sophchang
 "European settlers killed 56 million
 indigenous people over about 100 years..." 56
 million. It took a long time for me to process
 that figure
 CNN
 @CNN
 European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed
 the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1c
 9:45 AM -3 Feb 2019
 1,872 Retweets 2,388 Likes

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @sophchang
 And to think, the world population in 1900
 was only 1.5 billion compared to today's 7.5
 billion
 I don't know what the world pop was like in
 1500 but 56 millions would've been a HUGE
 percentage of that.
 That astronomical number is definitely hard
 to process
 9:25 PM - 3 Feb 2019

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @RadRoopa @sophchang
 I just looked it up and the world pop in 1600
 was about 570 million.
 They wiped out TEN PERCENT of the world's
 population.
 That's the equivalent of 750 million ppl today.
 Whoa
 9:50 PM - 3 Feb 2019
evergreennightmare:
red-stick-progressive:

aossidhboyee:


red-stick-progressive:

burdenbasket:


gahdamnpunk:
This is insane
holy fuck, this is A LOT


Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. 
The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others.
Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. 
That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse.


Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time.


Cuz that’s not true. 
Tw genocide, tw violence
When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. 
They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it.
Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back.
The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. 
The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution.
And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history.
Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse.

(tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government)

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alexander the Great: CW CNN
 @CNN
 Follow
 European colonizers killed so many Native
 Americans that it changed the global climate,
 researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1C
 8:00 PM -2 Feb 2019
 924 Retweets 1,321 Likes
 SULLDHONHS

 Sophia Chang
 Follow
 @sophchang
 "European settlers killed 56 million
 indigenous people over about 100 years..." 56
 million. It took a long time for me to process
 that figure
 CNN
 @CNN
 European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed
 the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1c
 9:45 AM -3 Feb 2019
 1,872 Retweets 2,388 Likes

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @sophchang
 And to think, the world population in 1900
 was only 1.5 billion compared to today's 7.5
 billion
 I don't know what the world pop was like in
 1500 but 56 millions would've been a HUGE
 percentage of that.
 That astronomical number is definitely hard
 to process
 9:25 PM - 3 Feb 2019

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @RadRoopa @sophchang
 I just looked it up and the world pop in 1600
 was about 570 million.
 They wiped out TEN PERCENT of the world's
 population.
 That's the equivalent of 750 million ppl today.
 Whoa
 9:50 PM - 3 Feb 2019
evergreennightmare:
red-stick-progressive:

aossidhboyee:


red-stick-progressive:

burdenbasket:


gahdamnpunk:
This is insane
holy fuck, this is A LOT


Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. 
The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others.
Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. 
That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse.


Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time.


Cuz that’s not true. 
Tw genocide, tw violence
When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. 
They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it.
Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back.
The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. 
The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution.
And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history.
Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse.

(tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government)

                
            

            
            
evergreennightmare:
red-stick-progressive:

aossidhboyee:


red-stick-progressive:

burdenbasket:


gahdamnpunk:
This is insane
holy fuck...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Alexander the Great: somecunttookmyurl
 Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a
 really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc
 civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even
 including predynastic civilization and Roman
 rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more
 like... 5,000 years.
 Like. If you want a comparison of how long that
 is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO
 THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT
 EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE
 HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS
 CHRIST
 We comparatively just entered the Third
 Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take
 over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not
 be born until the year 2931.
 It's a really long time guys.
 somecunttookmyurl
 Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and
 of "when shit happened if
 you started at 1AD" because I know backwards
 numbers are hard to process but here's an
 abridged version.
 If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in
 1AD then...
 300: step pyramid built
 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out
 950: Egypt re-unified
 1350: Middle Kingdom ends
 1450: New Kingdom begins
 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic
 religion and builds a new city
 1680: Tutankhamun dies
 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the
 throne
 1740: World's first peace treaty signed
 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many
 children
 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again
 And now we get to the futureIf we
 started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened
 yet
 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
 2180: Civil war
 2250: Nubian kings take over
 2335: Assyrian conquest
 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
 2930: Cleopatra VII born
 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome.
 Fin.
 And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If
 you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt
 you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND
 YEARS to all of those dates
 somecunttookmyurl
 I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's
 getting notes *without the timeline addition*
 like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I
 DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT
 WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS
i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alexander the Great: somecunttookmyurl
 Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a
 really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc
 civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even
 including predynastic civilization and Roman
 rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more
 like... 5,000 years.
 Like. If you want a comparison of how long that
 is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO
 THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT
 EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE
 HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS
 CHRIST
 We comparatively just entered the Third
 Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take
 over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not
 be born until the year 2931.
 It's a really long time guys.
 somecunttookmyurl
 Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and
 of "when shit happened if
 you started at 1AD" because I know backwards
 numbers are hard to process but here's an
 abridged version.
 If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in
 1AD then...
 300: step pyramid built
 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out
 950: Egypt re-unified
 1350: Middle Kingdom ends
 1450: New Kingdom begins
 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic
 religion and builds a new city
 1680: Tutankhamun dies
 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the
 throne
 1740: World's first peace treaty signed
 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many
 children
 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again
 And now we get to the futureIf we
 started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened
 yet
 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
 2180: Civil war
 2250: Nubian kings take over
 2335: Assyrian conquest
 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
 2930: Cleopatra VII born
 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome.
 Fin.
 And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If
 you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt
 you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND
 YEARS to all of those dates
 somecunttookmyurl
 I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's
 getting notes *without the timeline addition*
 like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I
 DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT
 WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS
i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
                
            

            
            
i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actua...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Alexander the Great: The legendary Gordian Knot just before it was loosened by Alexander the Great (333 BCE)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alexander the Great: The legendary Gordian Knot just before it was loosened by Alexander the Great (333 BCE)
                
            

            
            
The legendary Gordian Knot just before it was loosened by Alexander the Great (333 BCE)

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Alexander the Great: <p><a href="https://jarn-tungu.tumblr.com/post/170817222533/libertarirynn-ask-disneyka-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">jarn-tungu</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/170816517639/ask-disneyka-libertarirynn-friendly-reminder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://ask-disneyka.tumblr.com/post/170814099207/libertarirynn-friendly-reminder-that-north" class="tumblr_blog">ask-disneyka</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/170810350599/friendly-reminder-that-north-africans-come-in-all" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Friendly reminder that North Africans come in all shades and you can’t just up and decide someone isn’t African because they aren’t dark enough for your tastes 🙃</p></blockquote>

<p>North African are not considered “African” the same way Middle Eastern not considered “Asian”. They are geographically African but are more closely connected culturally, racially and economically with each other, rather than with the rest of Africa and Asia respectively.</p></blockquote>

<a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mHN--CYV1p1REiZwdNdfJmg">@ask-disneyka</a> tell that to the zillions of afro-centrics claiming Ancient Egypt as “black excellence” and getting upset when Cleopatra and Nefertiti aren’t depicted as deep sub-saharan brown.</blockquote>

<p>Wasn’t Cleopatra descendant of Alexander the  Great’s Generals or something? (ETHNICALLY GREEK)?</p></blockquote>

<p>Yeah but don’t tell them that.</p>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alexander the Great: <p><a href="https://jarn-tungu.tumblr.com/post/170817222533/libertarirynn-ask-disneyka-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">jarn-tungu</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/170816517639/ask-disneyka-libertarirynn-friendly-reminder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://ask-disneyka.tumblr.com/post/170814099207/libertarirynn-friendly-reminder-that-north" class="tumblr_blog">ask-disneyka</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/170810350599/friendly-reminder-that-north-africans-come-in-all" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Friendly reminder that North Africans come in all shades and you can’t just up and decide someone isn’t African because they aren’t dark enough for your tastes 🙃</p></blockquote>

<p>North African are not considered “African” the same way Middle Eastern not considered “Asian”. They are geographically African but are more closely connected culturally, racially and economically with each other, rather than with the rest of Africa and Asia respectively.</p></blockquote>

<a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mHN--CYV1p1REiZwdNdfJmg">@ask-disneyka</a> tell that to the zillions of afro-centrics claiming Ancient Egypt as “black excellence” and getting upset when Cleopatra and Nefertiti aren’t depicted as deep sub-saharan brown.</blockquote>

<p>Wasn’t Cleopatra descendant of Alexander the  Great’s Generals or something? (ETHNICALLY GREEK)?</p></blockquote>

<p>Yeah but don’t tell them that.</p>
                
            

            
            
<p><a href="https://jarn-tungu.tumblr.com/post/170817222533/libertarirynn-ask-disneyka-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">jarn-tungu</a>:...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Alexander the Great: jumpingjacktrash
 spicychickencows
 sirnotappearinginthisblog
 thefingerfuckingfemalefury
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 you know what's always bugged me? when a character is
 faced with some magical two headed being or some shit
 and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to
 figure out which is which the character's like "which one of
 you is the liar" or something like bruh literally all you gotta
 do is be like "what's two plus two" one of them's gonna say
 four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there
 you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat
 david bowie
 this has forty notes. that's forty more notes than expected
 THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes
 LISTEN idon't normally engage in Discourse but this information is
 DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
 the point of the riddle isn't to figure out which one is lying, in fact,
 knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irelevant.
 What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two
 guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that,
 you HAVE to ask it "if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the
 safe way to go, what will hey tell me?
 if you asked the truth-telling one, they'Il tell you the wrong way
 because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they'll
 tell you the wrong way, because they're misleading you, So
 ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.
 who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn't matter irl
 WRONG AGAIN! story time
 A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he
 dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.
 now, i've been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i
 first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i
 assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand
 I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the
 hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-
 shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to
 choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the
 other the nice rum.
 the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth
 thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting "ask
 him what color your hair is!" and stuff like that, but i already knew
 what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum
 remember, kids, it doesn't matter which one is lying and which one
 is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge
 to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a
 superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests
 always be ready for a riddle contest
 Here's a thing that usually doesn't come up when people try to criticise
 this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that
 you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth
 teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will
 collapse when you're halfway across
 They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always
 tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question
 If you ask "What's two plus two?" than great. You know which one lies
 but you also still don't know which bridge you can cross and can't find
 out.
 You played yourself
 i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them
 on fire, and see which way they run
 ALook at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all
The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alexander the Great: jumpingjacktrash
 spicychickencows
 sirnotappearinginthisblog
 thefingerfuckingfemalefury
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 you know what's always bugged me? when a character is
 faced with some magical two headed being or some shit
 and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to
 figure out which is which the character's like "which one of
 you is the liar" or something like bruh literally all you gotta
 do is be like "what's two plus two" one of them's gonna say
 four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there
 you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat
 david bowie
 this has forty notes. that's forty more notes than expected
 THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes
 LISTEN idon't normally engage in Discourse but this information is
 DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
 the point of the riddle isn't to figure out which one is lying, in fact,
 knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irelevant.
 What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two
 guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that,
 you HAVE to ask it "if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the
 safe way to go, what will hey tell me?
 if you asked the truth-telling one, they'Il tell you the wrong way
 because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they'll
 tell you the wrong way, because they're misleading you, So
 ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.
 who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn't matter irl
 WRONG AGAIN! story time
 A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he
 dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.
 now, i've been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i
 first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i
 assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand
 I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the
 hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-
 shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to
 choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the
 other the nice rum.
 the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth
 thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting "ask
 him what color your hair is!" and stuff like that, but i already knew
 what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum
 remember, kids, it doesn't matter which one is lying and which one
 is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge
 to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a
 superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests
 always be ready for a riddle contest
 Here's a thing that usually doesn't come up when people try to criticise
 this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that
 you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth
 teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will
 collapse when you're halfway across
 They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always
 tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question
 If you ask "What's two plus two?" than great. You know which one lies
 but you also still don't know which bridge you can cross and can't find
 out.
 You played yourself
 i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them
 on fire, and see which way they run
 ALook at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all
The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about
                
            

            
            
The Riddle Solving Discourse, for any quest goers lurking about