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Tumblr, Blog, and Boy: emeraldfox11: thinking abt one (1) boy
Tumblr, Blog, and Boy: emeraldfox11:

thinking abt one (1) boy

emeraldfox11: thinking abt one (1) boy

Anaconda, College, and God: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
Anaconda, College, and God: PIRITS
 bookhobbit
 why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires
 in college"
 everyone in college is eccentric. everyone
 you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who
 clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you
 everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and
 follow class etiquette
 multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy
 learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!
 wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm
 *
 no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's
 sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere
 big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle
 you
 *
 anorthernskyatdawn
 the girl in pyjamas is the vampire
 themauvesoul
 Also:
 If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be
 Jealous
 "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big
 projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone
 Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of
 mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood*
 It would take u like 100 years to major in everything
 Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the
 campus Cryptid and Mascoft
 Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that
 believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget
 abt whatever the fuck was bothering u
 College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over
 classical literature
 *
 e
 *
 iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s
 has qum and a stapler
 If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English
 major
 Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.
 e
 *
College Vampires

College Vampires

A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people don't tell you about being married for a long time? You actually do run out of things to talk about I know you might think I am kidding, but I am being a million percent truthsies over here. As a child, I always wondered what married people talked about, and was assured by many a family member that there were always things to discuss This is a lie. A big, fat one. It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful with me, because here I am with nothing to say and completely unprepared on how to deal. My husband and I go on a weekly date night and after I go into detail about my wild day working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I answered three emails, I found a dollar in the wash), I have nothing. The other day I started to tell my husband about this super interesting thing that had happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind, I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when I've got something good I save it for date night so I have something to talk about. It seems like such a waste to spend it on a regular day. So then he thought that was one of the weirdest things he's ever heard about, which I assumed maybe HE already did that too? But he was like, "No, people do not do that." It's like I don't know how to be a person the right way sometimes. Every now and again my husband will ask "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope" because I'm hiding them and don't want to share. These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a thick vanilla custard that slices up like a dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top. Basically, these are perfect and you need them right now. That is all benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people
 don't tell you about being married for a long
 time?
 You actually do run out of things to talk about
 I know you might think I am kidding, but I am
 being a million percent truthsies over here. As
 a child, I always wondered what married
 people talked about, and was assured by many
 a family member that there were always things
 to discuss
 This is a lie. A big, fat one.

 It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful
 with me, because here I am with nothing to say
 and completely unprepared on how to deal. My
 husband and I go on a weekly date night and
 after I go into detail about my wild day
 working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I
 answered three emails, I found a dollar in the
 wash), I have nothing.
 The other day I started to tell my husband
 about this super interesting thing that had
 happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind,
 I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's
 like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when
 I've got something good I save it for date night
 so I have something to talk about. It seems like
 such a waste to spend it on a regular day.
 So then he thought that was one of the weirdest
 things he's ever heard about, which I assumed
 maybe HE already did that too? But he was
 like, "No, people do not do that."
 It's like I don't know how to be a person the
 right way sometimes.

 Every now and again my husband will ask
 "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI
 made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope"
 because I'm hiding them and don't want to
 share.
 These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a
 thick vanilla custard that slices up like a
 dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under
 the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top.
 Basically, these are perfect and you need them
 right now. That is all
benepla:
kramergate:
I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood
this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake

benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertati...

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat
 TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex,
 unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
 via reddit.com
 toast-potent
 how are they even alive
 kickin-jeans
 eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during
 forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place
 koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat
 The Fucking Bombs
 humandisastersquad
 WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times
 ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how
 good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0
 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and
 even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic
 range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to
 ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat
 anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd
 rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60
 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want
 YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so
 incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is
 bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet
 consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
 reyroace
 oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is
 starvation, because
 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u
 need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in
 nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of
 tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth
 grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc
 everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin
 shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear
 down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit
 all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day
 then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until
 they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc
 their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh
 just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal
 w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc
 i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung
 from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their
 organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better
 piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense
 mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch
 them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit
 around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison
 while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending
 theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of
 extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at
 all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let
 em
 reyroace
 by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres
 a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound
 like
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk
 gallusrostromegalus
 My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala
 Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently
 good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo
 Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at
 which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves
 around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to
 BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and
 projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
 Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked
 into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with
 a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle
 the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects
 of a date.
 teratomarty
 What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.
the more you know

the more you know