reddit Hello A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment In my apartment I see a roach from time to time Nota ton of bunches of roaches like say 2 or 3 a month Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them But one time l thought maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium but I also take him out a lot to hold him pet him speak to him etc Well let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009 So may I say that of course I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me He is like a good luck charm of sorts and as my pet he is my good friend so l know that if he is with me I am not alone It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav Well it did not work exactly this way You see a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket Well I have to tell you that she did see this I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this and even screamed And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest So I ran out of that place Yes ran Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this I have resolved I will not do any more dates That's for sure But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him I know this is unfair But it's how I feel tripropellant mysteryho yeezusplease big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny Meme

Being alone










found @ 21 likes ON 2019-02-13 21:21:03 BY

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