My proudest moment of teaching all year Today after my first class had finished up Johnny kept poking at and tickling the girl sitting next to him She kept asking him to stop and he wouldn't despite my having redirected him a couple of times Johnny said I want to handcuff you and tickle you until you scream and then said What? What Ms Judi? Why you making that face? I said Your last comment made me feel very uncomfortable Johnny He said What? I didn't say anything wrong I explained Johnny when you say to a woman who says 'No to you that you're going to restrain her with handcuffs and touch her without her permission until she screams that sounds really rape-y to me Naw! Ms Judi that's all messed up! Johnny protested I didn't mean it that way it's like on TV when a guy and a girl are having fun together I said On TV Johnny you're seeing a fantasy If BOTH partners consent it's all cool But every person deserves to have what we call BODY AUTONOMY That means you have a say in who touches you in what medical procedures happen to you how far you're willing to go In my family if someone says 'Stop tickling we do because consent is important to fun If it's all fun for you and not for your partner you aren't listening to her needs and you're being entitled You only care about yourself in a narcissistic way Johnny said But she and I are cool aren't we girl? The girl raised her head and looked uncertain I said to the girl Is this where you get to say 'It's okay Ms Judi to spare his feelings or to keep him from targeting you again? She opened her mouth and shut it Answer me this Did you in fact tell Johnny 'No' to being touched and tickled? Yes whispered the girl Did you mean it? I prodded Yes she said more strongly Did you say 'No because you secretly wanted him to keep tickling you?i asked I said 'No' because I didn't fucking want him to fucking touch me again! she suddenly snarled But it doesn't matter anyway because he's going to do whatever the fuck he wants anyway no matter what I say! l turned back to Johnny And here sir is the crux of the problem You didnt listen to her and made her feel she had to take whatever you dished out Oh My God Why are we even talking about this? exclaimed Johnny angry and upset Johnny you asked me and I'm answering and I think you're a nice guy that NEEDS to hear this Because you're big and male and 'just joking' you get away with pushing boundaries again and again and again which undermines each time a woman says 'No' to you If you don't respect her bodily autonomy when she says no tickling or no touching or to leave her alone then will you respect her saying no when she doesn't want to hug or kiss or get it on after a date or when she says no but she's been drinking? The pattern is the same And NOT respecting her boundaries means you think that women are for your use property to be used and discarded and who cares who is hurt as long as YOU have fun and enjoy yourself There's the connection to rape The mindset builds up from all the hundreds of times little boys kissed a cute girl or pinched her or tickled her when she wanted to be let be and someone gushed 'boys will be boys' or 'that's how he shows he likes her whether or not SHE wanted the attention So I'm never allowed to tickle again is that what you're saying? Johnny said sarcastically No I'm asking you to LISTEN to what SHE says about her comfort level If you tickle a girl and she laughs and says something like 'Oooh! I'll get you back! that's an invitation If she says 'Stop it I don't feel like this right now 1 expect that you pay attention to what she wants or doesn't Respect her bodily autonomy Johnny stared at his desk I said Thank you for listening to what I had to say You've always been respectful to me in my classroom even when you're mad at me I'm asking you to extend that respect and courtesy to the women of your age too Class ended They went out All the girls of the class lingered a moment Thank you said one I hadn't heard that thing about bodily autonomy before This was like better than one of our groups The girl who'd sat next to Johnny said wasn't going to make it out to be a big deal but I was fed up with him today Thank you I hope he isn't an asshole about it though I can't handle that today And I went on teaching my other classes But right before lunch in the hall something happened A boy from a different class started an argument with his girifriend because she wouldn't hug him as they passed one another What? You're my girl and you won't give me any sugar? and he grabbed her wrist Before ANY staff could react Johnny was right there Yo bro That ain't cool If she doesn't want to hug right now that's on her You got no call to get mad at her You don't own her ass or her She gets to decide if she feels like hugging you kissing you whatever It's called BODILY AUTONOMY asshole I take what I want said the boy What? You some kind of rapist that you gotta TAKE what you want? No wonder she don't want to hug you if you won't take NO for an answer! Johnny said scornfully What else you gonna TAKE from her? Her dignity? Her body? Her feelings of safety? You supposed to PROTECT your girl not MAKE her do shit The boy noting all the sudden attention drops the girl's arm He muttered Yeah whatEVER man and walked away And I caught Johnny's eye and I said Thank you for listening to me this morning and really considering what I said You've made me really proud of you today Meme

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found ON 2018-09-26 10:13:56 BY awwmemes.com

source: reddit