HOW BIG IS BABY? a handy pregnancy guide Government tracking device Nearly microscopic your baby is still tiny enough to be implanted into an ear by government agents WEEK 1 0 grams 1 mm while you sleep at night Sprig of cilantro that's stuck in your teeth 01 grams Small for a baby Extremely large and distracting WEEK LU for everyone who just ate lunch with you 2 mm eath h Crib $100 worth of black tar heroin At one gram your baby's street value is now equivalent to a one-day supply of high-quality Mexican Chiva WEEK 8 1 gram 16 cm Chicken nugget Celebrate the 1st trimester by dunking your belly into a gigantic container of hickory-smoked WEEK 12 se items t 14 grams 54 cm bbq sauce Ninja throwing star Your baby is now the perfect size to throw at and 100 grams subdue a samurai from the warring Ashikaga clan WEEK 16 115 cm Baby sea otter if your baby were a sea otter it would be ready for birth Sadly it is a larger much less desirable human baby instead WEEK 24 13 lbs 30 cm Regretful Smurf WEEK 30 Most Smurfs weigh 2 lbs but this one carries the additional weight of what he did in the woods that one terrible night in September 33 lbs 36 cm 045 Ashton Kutchers WEEK 40 Doctors agree the perfect birthing weight for babies is exactly 122nd the size of acclaimed Hollywood actor Ashton Kutcher 8 lbs 50 cm Obvious Plant Meme

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