Hacker Scripts Based on a true story build engineer has left for another company The dude was literally living inside the terminal You know Xxx OK so our that type of a guy who loves Vim creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time he writes a script to automate that xxx So we're sitting here looking through his uhm legacy xxx You're gonna love this xxx smack-my-bitch-upsh - sends a text message late at work to his wife apparently Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings randomly Runs inside a cron-job The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxx kumar-assholesh scans the inbox for emails from Kumar a DBA at our clients Looks for keywords like help trouble sorry etc If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup Then sends a reply no worries mate be careful next time xxx hangoversh another cron-job that is set to specific dates Sends automated emails like not feeling wellgonna work from home etc Adds a random reason from another predefined array of strings Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 845am xxx and the oscar goes to fucking-coffeesh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds ! then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running and sends something like sys brew Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 seconds before pouring it into a cup The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk xxx holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX A true programmer Meme

apparently

Bitch

dude

Fucking

Love

Sorry

True

XXX

Work

hangover

Coffee

Desk

Help

Home

Inbox

Legacy

Text

Time

True Story

Wiki

Wife

Living

Reason

Running

Linux

Asshole

Back

Be Careful

how

idea

another

job

company

looking

random

oscar

vim

next

ssh

tcp

who

the script

database

server

cron

login

dates

dot

network

one

engineer

telnet

hacker

etc

the terminal

set

latte

dba

socket

terminal

brewing

thing

array

you

script

story

inside

work from home

caf

build

brew

for

text message

machine

backup

scripts

reply

coffee machine

the job

more

this

like

youre

guy

latest

well

anything

then

exactly

feeling

the machine

those

uhm

sitting

gonna

a cup

pouring

worries

literally

mate

loves

smack

based

were

there

reasons

programmer

through

walk

no

message

something

know

left

seconds

cup

late

trouble

automatically

not feeling well

based on a true story

be-careful-next-time

out

type

at-work

sitting here

and the oscar goes to

active

And

You Know

Here

Posts

Interactive

No Worries

Holy

That

The Dude

Not

The

Long

From

Next Time

Smack My Bitch Up

Emails

Starts

Sh T

Keeping

A True Story

Looks

Dudes

After

OK

Strings

Scans

Was

With

Takes

Half

Our

Found

Are

Had

Automated

Goes

Adds

How Long

Has

Mid

Before

Timing

Than

Runs

Rolls

His

Careful

My Bitch

Ok So

A Reply

Diagrams

Found The

Holy Sh T

If Something

Into

Keywords

Kumar

Late At Work

Love This

No Worries Mate

On A

Sessions

Automate

Markdown

More Than

Of His

Predefined

Randomly

Session

Set To

Specific

Staging

Sys

The Latest

9pm

sends

clients

youre gonna

my

requires

creates

opens

picks

im

turns

at

guy who

oscar goes

looking through

worries mate

gonna work

there are

fires

a

it

found @ 35 likes ON 2019-07-21 05:43:52 BY awwmemes.com

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