cacen so at the bar in which I work there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman' which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan Doorman Drew and Doorman Dan now let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan now before I get into his personality let's describe his appearance imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever tall white-blond strong-jawed now add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper that's Doorman Dan since meeting him last year I've discovered he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures' one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee but a man named Ned upon being asked who Ned is he shrugged and responded with TII know when I meet him he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed I don't even know if I'm invited truth be told when he caught a couple having sex in our loos he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits op? Source cacen 114993 notes The adventures of doorman dan Meme

A Dream

Christmas

Instagram

Life

Love

Saw

Sex

shit

Las Vegas

Work

Army

Define

Fiance

Fuck

Happy

Movie

Naked

Orange

Sunrise

Tattoo

White

Wife

Wedding

Girlfriend

Alcoholic

Strong

Dance

Mystery

The Prophecy

Truth

Back

Beards

got

add

john lewis

led

once

foot

jumper

gay

who

character

dream

cocktail

big

him

source

pet

one

bar

account

man

imagine

fighting

personality

rabbits

three

reading

staff

rings

she

names

own

all

lewis

they

you

call

door

inside

now

person

buddy

accent

ran

what

trio

south

notes

for

months

prophecy

whats

polyamorous

stand

fiancee

decade

look

more

feels

get

relationship

couple

like

men

guy

people

absolutely

just

finally

because

impossible

having sex

broken

blond

someone

snack

love of my life

happy christmas

what the

hes

let's

sitcom

got it

jumping

shit happens

the fuck

unaware

let me

dance floor

invited

extraordinary

truth be told

ever

arse

ned

bloke

stereotypical

i dont care

thirty

the love

doorman

junkie

woke

venue

rhyme

polyamorous relationship

meeting

no

called

care

hours

my life

week

need

know

left

follow

want

month

instead

drink

said

year

ten

dan

lute

dont

drew

tall

heavy

decided

beating

married

being gay

homophobe

dedicated

must have

don't care

appearance

i dont even

accidentally

look forward

fighting back

what the fuck

his personality

on the dance floor

let-me-tell-you

out

john

for-three

off

season

And

You Know

Forgot

Left Out

When

Honestly

Dont Even

Simply

Men With Beards

Older

I Dont Even Know

That

Logan

Loving

But

Not

Jeff

Last

When He

The Door

Freaked Out

The

I Need

Update

Caught

Theyre

Told

Write

Front

A Ten

Knocked

Without

Seasons

Movie About

While

Didnt

Start

The Bar

Unofficial

Woke Up

Had To

I Dont

Thats

Forward

Was

With

Let

Our

Rule

Have

Four

Had

Unless

Of My

When I

Floor

Which

Only

About

You Now

Whats The

Since

Has

Before

Being

Describe

Most

Last Week

Loos

Must

Theres

Meet

Tell

Happens

Than

Runs

Even

Freaked

His

Last Year

Could

Life Is

Having

Big Ol

A Character

A Man

About The

Any

Beating Up

Before I

Convinced

For The

Forgot To Call

Friending

Guy For

He Has

In Front Of The

In The

Instead Of

Into

Is Not

Jumping In

Life Of

Like A

Longer

Non Alcoholic

Non

Older Than Me

Older Than

Only Person

Patrolling

Pet Rabbits

found @ 28 likes ON 2019-02-12 23:00:16 BY awwmemes.com

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