Being Alone, Apparently, and God: 00 times you cockblocked yourself Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)06:15 No.14423645
Ok /fit/ I just did one of the most embarrassing, ball blue-ening things of my life. Seriously I cannot sleep because of the shame. This occurred nine hours ago
ITT: TIMES YOU 8/1 cardio bunny who I bumped into last week, I used to hang around with her brother ages ago, we were in a queue together
COCKBLOCKED >We got talking about fitness as I recall she was quite sporty, I mention my gym is rubbish and she says I should check hers out, guest pass and shiz
> I jump at chance, both for gym and possible bone
> We go, I do chest/tri's she goes treadmill then crosstrainer then a few reps on the crunch machine for some reason
> She asks what am I doing after this, I say might watch a movie, I've got a pirated copy of Avengers l've been meaning to watch.
> She says she has wanted to see that, I maintain my spaghetti and ask her to come, she accepts. cont.
Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)06:15 No.14423651
> Go to mine, I crack open my cheapest wine, we are watching the movie and talking a bit.
> She is apparently a bit of a lightweight and wine goes straight to her head, we get talking about sex.
> Oh god just typing this hurts
> She mentions her ex never went down on her. I say something along the lines of "what an idiot"
> She goes in for kiss, we kiss for about 5 seconds
> She pulls away, then I for reasons unknown need to fill a non-existent void...
> "you know, I could give you the old lickaroo"
> the old lickaroo
> I said it jokey and cheeky but there was no way that didn't sound weird, fuck I may have sort of winked a bit, oh god
> She looks at me like I am a shoe sniffer and pulls away and said "err yeah just gonna go toilet"
> This occurred roughly around when Hulk is smashing up the plane
> She returns and I put my hand on her knee in an attempt to salvage
> We make awkward small talk for what feels like an eternity, man this is a long film
s when Hulk punches Thor I remove my hand from her
> Eons pass and the film finally ends. I walk her to my door and go for a hug, she effectively pats me on the shoulder
> I am too ashamed to even masturbate, and just lie in bed alone
> the old lickaroo
Share with me your shame /fit, my misery needs company
>> □ Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)07:08 No.14423996
(10 KB, 296x299, 1315313990775.jpg)
get a girl back to my place
>get to talking about sex
>tell I could giver her the old likaroo and
winked at her
>hear her vagina shut down with the
windows 98 closing sound
Best Buy, Computers, and Family: 38 points 4 years ago
Bruce Willis owns a property in Sun Valley, Idaho. the closest town to Sun Valley that had major retailers used to be
Twin Falls. I worked in the Best Buy in Twin several years ago, in the computer department.
Willis walked in, took one look at me, walked right over and said, "You're the first one that made eye contact... sell me
At first I was terrified because he was so abrupt, but I asked him a bunch of questions, put together a good set up
for him. Had a great time. He asked me about the specs on several computers, and I replied using a voice similar to
the geek character from Robot Chicken. He laughed so hard he had to sit down for a while to get his composer back.
I wound up shopping him through every department. He left with $30,000 dollars worth of stuff. A lot of it we had to
order and ship. Most of it gifts for his friends and family.
When he checked out he offered to take a picture with me, and I hadn't even asked. My manager on duty got mad
and said it would be against company policy. He asked my boss if it was company policy to loose massive sales. I just
about died laughing.
He ordered pizza for the staff since he'd spent so much time there that day. We grabbed a display camera and he took
a bunch of pictures with us.
It was an amazing day.
However....my boss burned the SD card, trying to keep everything professional, and charged me for the money lost
from the destroyed card.
All in all, Bruce was there for almost 6 hours.